


I'll Be Your Safe Ride Home

by flowergrandpas (thewicked)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fraternity, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-09-14 22:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9205214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewicked/pseuds/flowergrandpas
Summary: Sehun is a member of the Epsilon Chi Omicron fraternity, or EXO.  Joonmyun is the TA for his Principles of Psychology class.Alternatively, the frat AU no one ever asked for.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> SOOOOo this is kind of an ancient project I've had stowed away for a few years now -- to gauge its age, I started it before Kris even left. So, that's why Tao is a pretty big player, and even Luhan shows up here and there. Still, I'm hoping to actually DO SOMETHING with it this year, hence posting it in chapters. I really hope you like it; even though it's been kept hidden for so long, it really has been a bit of a pet project for me, and I hope that it brings as much joy to others as it has to myself!
> 
> The title comes from "Safe Ride" by Cute Is What We Aim For.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sehun gets in trouble his first day of class.

Sehun was hungover the first day of class, so he hadn’t attended Principles of Psychology, which he had stupidly signed up for at 10:30 in the morning. He can’t say he’s surprised, really, when someone approaches him after class on the second day, especially since he showed up twenty minutes late thanks to a glitchy alarm. The rest of the class is filing out when the TA stops in front of him and puts his hands on his hips, looking uncannily like a disapproving mother.

“Sehun, right?” he asks, as if he hadn’t just checked the class roster six times before coming over.

Sehun sucks in his lips as he considers the small TA, who’s all wide eyes and narrow shoulders. His dark hair swoops neatly across his forehead, his shirt is buttoned all the way to the top, and the bowtie around his neck makes him look like he takes himself way too seriously.

Sehun smiles. “Yeah,” he says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “That’s me.” He tugs absently at his hair. “I know I look different than my picture on the roster. I let the bleach grow out. Turns out it can be really bad for your hair if you do a shit job. Which I did.”

The TA purses his lips and places a piece of paper on Sehun’s desk. “This is the syllabus I handed out yesterday, which you didn’t get because you were absent,” he says, and Sehun notices that his eyes haven’t moved from his fingers splayed across the paper, as if he’s reluctant to look at him. “There are also class guidelines attached, and since you also managed to miss nearly half the period today, I’m going to tell you that you’ve already used up two of your three free absences.” He peeks up at Sehun. “If you miss more than one day after this, your grade is going to drop.”

“Okay.”

The TA straightens up, nods his head, says, “Alright, good,” and offers a hesitant smile. “I’m Joonmyun, by the way,” he adds. “Your TA.”

Sehun forces a smile up at him. “Cool.”

Finished, Joonmyun all but darts away after that. He hurries back to the front of the room to pack up his bag, and his shoulders are hunched as if he knows he’s being watched. The smile on Sehun’s face relaxes into something more natural as he studies his thin back, but he’s interrupted by a tap on the head. When he turns around, it’s Tao.

“Dude,” he says. “Stop flirting with the TA, we gotta go.”

“I wasn’t flirting,” Sehun scoffs. “I was receiving vital information for my class performance this semester.” He brandishes the syllabus in Tao’s face before carelessly shoving it between the only two folders in his backpack.

“What was that shit with your hair then?” Tao sniggers. “I look different than my picture on the roster? You twirled your hair like a schoolgirl.”

“Shut up.” Sehun stands, suddenly reminded that Joonmyun is still in the room, and he can probably hear every idiotic thing coming out of Tao’s mouth. He slings his bag over his shoulder and gently shoves his friend toward the door. “Let’s go.”

“Are you embarrassed?”

“No.” Sehun ignores the way the back of his neck feels entirely too warm. He tells himself Joonmyun isn’t paying attention, that the pressure on the back of his head is just something he’s imagining and not Joonmyun’s gaze.

**

“Really though,” Tao says around a mouthful of burrito. “You were making eyes at him.”

“I was _not_ ,” Sehun snaps. He takes a sip of his bubble tea, glaring over the cup as he does so.

“It’s fine if you like him, you know,” Tao says. “It’s totally cool.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t.” Sehun pushes the remnants of his food around their container with his chopsticks. “He dresses like an old man, and all he had to say to me was vaguely threatening stuff about attendance and grades. Even if I was interested in guys, he wouldn’t be my type.”

“What _is_ your type, then?”

Sehun looks at Tao, who suddenly looks way too hopeful. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” he says.

**

The third day of class, Joonmyun smiles at Sehun when he comes in on time. Sehun ignores it, opting instead of look at his phone for the remaining minute until the professor walks in.

Joonmyun doesn’t even do anything the entire time, though, just sits at a desk while the professor goes on with his lecture. Sehun doesn’t want to say that he’s disappointed, but as he watches Joonmyun pack his bag after it’s over, he finds himself walking against the tide of students until he’s fingering the edge of Joonmyun’s desk.

“I showed up,” he says lamely, and he regrets this as soon as Joonmyun looks up at him with a bright expression.  

“I’m glad.” Joonmyun smiles again, and Sehun can feel his legs itching to turn back. “Let’s make this a habit, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Sehun looks down at his hands, which are gripping the desk too tightly. He can feel sweat on his palms. “Okay.”

**

The Epsilon Chi Omicron fraternity isn’t necessarily the best-known or most prestigious piece of Greek life on campus, but they have a lot of Asian members, and the previous president, Kris, had been a pretty cool guy, so Sehun felt comfortable pledging freshman year with his roommate, a Chinese exchange student named Zitao. Fast forward a year and the new president’s name is Baekhyun, Sehun is still rooming with Tao, and Epsilon Chi is moving up in the ranks on campus. Baekhyun knows how to plan a party, and Chanyeol, his right hand man, is a talented promoter. There’s also Yixing, who always somehow manages to score the best weed, and Jongdae, who moonlights as a wedding DJ when he isn’t otherwise occupied. Tao always impresses people with his martial arts, so he’s become a bit of an attraction as well. Sehun, on the other hand, gets shoved out onto the lawn. “To attract people,” Baekhyun explained the first time he did it. “You’re attractive. People will be attracted to you, and thus, our party.”

“Isn’t that like, prostitution?” Tao had asked as he hovered in the doorway.

“It’s only prostitution if we make money from it,” Baekhyun said. “And that’s all up to little Sehunnie here, isn’t it? That’s his own business decision.”

Sehun doesn’t really mind, if he’s being honest. It gets hot in the house from all of the bodies packed inside, and the fresh air is nice. He can still hear the music blasting from the house, there’s plenty of room to dance if the mood hits him; there are still plenty of people to talk to, and Tao usually comes outside, too, claiming he needs the space to do his tricks. Plus, it’s for his fraternity brothers, and Sehun feels obligated to help them out, even if he sincerely doubts he actually entices people to come in.

Baekhyun insists that it’s necessary, though, especially since he’s put his eyes on securing Epsilon Chi a position at the top of this semester’s Greek Games – a week-long competition after midterms that determines the ranking of fraternities and sororities for the rest of the year, and thus affects the attendance at parties. Epsilon Chi has a notorious history of underachievement at these events, and Baekhyun has made it his duty as president to change that. As part of his platform, he purchased two huge Slip’N Slides and a new pong table by the end of the first week of school, and one of the Slip’N Slides has already been broken by an overly enthusiastic Jongdae, who’d thought it’d be a good idea to connect it to a keg of beer instead of the hose. Two weeks in, and there’s a new inflatable pool in the backyard that Chanyeol turned into a ball pit for their party that weekend. As it turns out, people love ball pits, and Sehun watches in mild disbelief from the back porch as they pile in.

“You think Joonmyun is into balls like that?” Tao asks, and his sudden question disturbs Sehun out of whatever bubble of contemplation he’d been in. He’s been sitting out for most of the party so far, watching from his spot on the porch swing. He knows he looks miserable all alone in the corner, and he knows Tao is just trying to look after him, but Sehun feels irritation well up despite himself.

“Fuck off,” he mumbles. He looks down at the drink in his hand instead of his friend. “I doubt he’s ever set foot on this street.”

Tao leans in closer. “So you’ve considered it.”

“No.”

“Are you nervous about the essay that’s due?” he asks, referring to the assignment they were given at the beginning of the week. “You know he’s gonna read it.”

“I don’t care,” Sehun says. The bass from the house feels like it’s slicing his insides open. “It’s his boring job. Whatever.”

Tao sighs and stretches his legs out in front of him, slouching down in his seat as he does so. “What if he hates it?” He gasps.  “What if it makes him hate _you_?”

Sehun glares at him. “Can you leave?”

“Do we need couples’ counseling out here?” Chanyeol shouts over the music as he sticks his head out the window. “Arguing with your roommate brings bad mojo into the house! You guys need to fix this!”

“We’re not arguing,” Sehun snaps.

Chanyeol purses his lips. “You sure?  You seem pretty on-edge.”

“I’m fine.” Sehun throws the rest of his drink back, gets up and walks into the vibrating house. He stops next to Chanyeol, who’s still hunched over the window sill. “And stop butting in on people’s conversations. It’s rude and annoying.”

“Dude,” Chanyeol says, straightening out before Sehun can leave for the stairs. “We’re _brothers_ , okay? Getting into each other’s business like, _is_ our business.”

“Okay.” Sehun lets himself get sucked into the crowd of people, plucking another cup of beer from one of the tables lining the room. He didn’t really join the fraternity for the parties, but he’s grown to appreciate them in his time here. He’s not the type to dance on a table in the middle of the room like Baekhyun, and he isn’t the type to sit around and smoke the whole time like Yixing, but there’s something about the crush of bodies, the sounds of beer pong echoing from the kitchen, and the haze of smoke shrouding everything in a greenish glow that makes Sehun feel like he could be anybody. The anonymity of being buzzed in a room full of strangers allows Sehun to forget his grades, his nonexistent major, and, most importantly, the murky future that’s constantly looming over him. Here, surrounded by over a hundred sweaty people, he’s just another body, a non-entity that doesn’t have any worries.

**

Later that night (or, really, early the next morning), after he helps Jongdae into the bathroom before the latter manages to spew his stomach full of Jell-o shots everywhere, Sehun falls onto his bed with a heavy sigh. Tao stumbles in by the time he’s worked his way under his covers, giggling something about girls and their bras. Sehun rolls onto his side and groans, mumbling into his pillow for Tao to be quiet. “We have to work on that paper tomorrow,” he mumbles.

“So we can impress Joonmyun?” Tao asks with a laugh. All he gets in response is a pillow to the face.

With another doleful sigh, Sehun grabs his headphones and turns on some music. Tao snores when he’s drunk.

**

They both end up spending all of Sunday night writing their papers, so by the time it’s due, he’s running on an hour of sleep and several energy drinks. He blames that for the uneasy feeling he gets when Joonmyun smiles at him as he hands in his paper, at any rate. He’s stopped wearing bow ties to class, but he still wears a collared shirt, and today he has a sweater pulled on over it, which, paired with his neatly styled hair and immaculately tied sneakers, gives him an air not unlike a hip youth pastor.

“I can’t wait to read all of your papers,” he tells the class, and Sehun thinks he actually sounds excited. “I should have them graded by the end of the week, but I’ll let you know when I’m done and you can pick them up during my office hours.” That’s the last time he speaks for the rest of the period, but Sehun continues to watch him until the professor’s droning voice becomes a vague noise in the background. He isn’t even doing anything; Sehun can only see the top of his head as he browses the stack of papers, but his stomach still burns when he thinks about Joonmyun reading what he’d hastily slapped together. He hopes it doesn’t offend him.

**

As it turns out, Joonmyun is a fast grader. The following Thursday, Sehun gets an email from him saying his paper is ready to pick up, and a schedule of Joonmyun’s office hours is conveniently attached to the bottom. Sehun has to fight off a smile when he sees the “Hwaiting!” in Joonmyun’s email signature.

Joonmyun’s office isn’t anything close to what Sehun had imagined when he’d seen the words “office hours” in the email. It’s more like a closet than a proper room, with Joonmyun’s desk shoved into the corner so it looks like he’d have to practically climb over it to get to his chair. The teetering bookcases along the opposite wall make the space seem even more cluttered, and Sehun doesn’t even know how he’d managed to fit a small chair next to his desk for guests to use. Despite all of this, when Sehun bows into the office with an uncertain smile, it doesn’t feel as shitty as he thinks it should. The lamp on Joonmyun’s desk keeps the dim overhead lighting from making it too cave-like, and Sehun’s pretty sure he can smell an air freshener among all of the musty pages lining the wall. _Comfortable_ isn’t the right word, but Sehun thinks that Joonmyun has somehow been able to make the most out of the limited space he was given.

“Sorry about the size,” Joonmyun says sheepishly from his spot behind his desk. “This used to be a storage room for the faculty.”

“It’s okay,” Sehun says. He has to bend his legs a little to fit them between the legs of the chair and some boxes stacked in front of Joonmyun’s desk, but it’s not quite as cramped as it had looked from the doorway. “You’re like, the bottom of the food chain, right?”

He realizes he’s put his foot in his mouth almost immediately. Joonmyun’s smile falters, and Sehun stumbles over his words to correct himself: “I mean, like, since you’re a student, you know, it’s kind of… uh… there probably isn’t enough room? You know?”

Joonmyun waves it away. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it. Don’t worry.”

 _Are you sure?_ Sehun bites his tongue, though, and watches Joonmyun shuffle through the stack of papers with something like a colony of ants crawling around in his stomach. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous.

Joonmyun makes a small noise of accomplishment when he finds Sehun’s paper. He eyes the grade for a second before turning his eyes up to meet Sehun’s with a grim smile. “I don’t think this was your best work, I’m afraid,” he says.

Sehun’s stomach plummets when he sees the grade written neatly in the corner. _Fuck_.

“Luckily for us, it’s the first grade of the semester, so there’s plenty of time to make a comeback,” Joonmyun says. “But… if you think you need some help on the next one – which is due in two weeks, just a reminder – don’t be afraid to come visit me here.” He has an encouraging smile on his face when Sehun looks up from his miserable grade. “I can read it over and offer some pointers. You _have_ to have a complete essay, though,” he adds, and even though his expression changes into something stern, Sehun can’t help but notice how _nice_ he still looks. “I won’t look at any outlines or anything that’s unfinished, okay?”

Sehun nods his head. “Okay.”

“I know the principles of psychology probably aren’t something that’s important for your major, but honestly, it’s an easy boost for your GPA,” Joonmyun says. “You just have to put in a little work.”

“Oh, I’m still undeclared,” Sehun says matter-of-factly. “I don’t know what I want to major in.”

Joonmyun pauses, taken aback, his mouth stuck in a surprised ‘o’ that makes Sehun lick his lips and shift uncomfortably. “Oh. Well… if you ever want to talk about that, I’m here for that, as well,” he finishes with another smile.

Sehun narrows his eyes. “Is that something you offer to all of your students?”

Joonmyun blinks. “I don’t know,” he admits. “It just… came out of my mouth.”

“Oh.” Sehun looks away, embarrassed.

Joonmyun claps his hands. “Well, is that it? I have to hand out the rest of this stack,” he says, patting the giant pile next to him.

“Yeah…” Sehun stands up, and he nearly trips over the clutter twice in the three steps it takes to get him to the door. He turns around before he leaves, and the way that Joonmyun’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise has Sehun swallowing words he’d never be caught dead saying. “Are you Korean?” he asks instead. When Joonmyun’s eyebrows only climb higher, he adds, “I mean, in your email, you had ‘hwaiting’ at the bottom, and that’s… a Korean thing…”

Joonmyun’s eyebrows go higher still, but the rest of his face brightens into something blinding. “You are, too, huh?”

“Oh, well, my parents moved here before I was born, but… yeah, I guess…” Sehun shrugs, suddenly fascinated with the design of his shoes. “Your name is Korean, too, though, so I was just wondering…”

“I’m like you,” Joonmyun says. “My parents came here while my mom was pregnant with me.”

“That’s cool.” Sehun risks a glance up and finds Joonmyun scrutinizing him in a way that leaves him short of breath.

“You’re part of Epsilon Chi?”

For a brief moment Sehun wonders how Joonmyun knew something like that, but when he looks down in embarrassment he sees the sweater with the ΕΧΟ logo emblazoned on the front. “Yeah,” he says.

“They have a lot of Asian members, right?”

Sehun nods his head. “A few, yeah. More than the other frats. It’s kinda nice.”

Joonmyun smiles, and again, there’s that buzzing feeling in Sehun’s stomach. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

On his way out of the building, Sehun has to stop in one of the bathrooms to catch his breath and get his heartbeat back to something regular.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the universe smiles down on Sehun, Tao sends a dangerous text, and a rash decision is made.

He doesn’t take his next paper in for review. Instead, he misses two of his other classes that week and repeats the all-nighter he’d spent the previous Sunday. By the time he shows up to turn it in, the tired bags under his eyes are more pronounced than last week, but Joonmyun still takes his paper with a smile that makes Sehun feel like he’d swallowed a hive of bees. He spends the rest of the class making a concentrated effort to keep his eyes on his notebook and away from Joonmyun, whose argyle sweater today would make him look sixty if it wasn’t for the youthful shine in his eyes. Sehun can’t look at Joonmyun without feeling simultaneously offended and charmed by the pattern; it’s so _him_ , and Sehun hates himself for actually having something like that cross his mind.

“You look terrible,” Tao says once the professor ends the lesson for the day. He’d finished his assignment several hours before Sehun and managed to fit in some sleep. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Sehun grumbles as he shoves everything into his bag.

“That is so obviously a lie.” Tao nudges his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“ _Nothing_.” Joonmyun passes them with his satchel thrown over his shoulder, and Sehun feels his stomach lurch when he realizes Joonmyun is watching from the corner of his eye.

“Is it him?” Tao whispers as they watch his retreating form get lost in the surge of students.

“No.”

“It totally is.”

Sehun narrows his eyes at him in disbelief. “It’s because I’m swamped with homework, Tao, what the fuck.”

Tao purses his lips, and he raises his eyebrows. “Okay,” he says.

**

It’s Thursday again when Sehun gets an email saying his paper has been graded. This time, when he shows up, Joonmyun’s smile is dimmer than usual, not even reaching his eyes. Without a word, he hands it over to Sehun.

“Shit,” he says when he sees the grade in green pen.

“Shit’s right,” Joonmyun says, and Sehun goes speechless at the sound of a foul word coming out of Joonmyun’s mouth. “This is worse than last week.”

Sehun bows his head, ashamed. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

“Don’t be sorry,” Joonmyun sighs, and when Sehun looks up, his smile has turned into something more genuine.

“But I fucked up,” Sehun says, and he really wishes he could explain the shame and guilt that’s making his chest feel like it’s breaking out into a rash. “I skipped class and put the paper off until the night before. It’s kind of entirely my fault.”

“Yeah, but making you feel bad about it isn’t going to motivate you, is it?”

It might not, but Sehun definitely doesn’t want to mention the way the disappointment written all over Joonmyun’s face is making him reconsider his study habits. “I’ll do better next week,” he says instead.

Joonmyun raises an eyebrow. “You sure?”

He shrugs. “I’m pretty confident I can go from failing to passing,” he says. “Especially if I have you helping me.”

Joonmyun looks away, and Sehun wants to say he might be flustered. “O-okay,” he says, and he writes something on a sticky note before reaching over and placing it on the desk in front of Sehun. “My cell number,” he explains when Sehun studies the digits. “In case you want to meet outside of my office hours.”

Sehun blinks. “Why are you giving me this?” The idea of having Joonmyun’s private number makes him nervous. “Does everyone have this?”

Joonmyun shakes his head, and Sehun can see him reconsidering the decision. “I – I just thought that maybe… you’d like to meet somewhere else? I feel like meeting in my office could be a bit too formal, you know? I don’t want you to be intimidated.”

Sehun shifts in his seat, eyeing the phone number again. “I guess,” he says.

“When you have your next paper written, let me know and we can set up an appointment.”

Sehun has to bite his lip to keep his smile from growing too apparent. “Okay.”

**

“Dude,” says Tao when Sehun shows him the sticky note in the quad later that day. “I can’t believe you didn’t even do anything and he still gave you his number. The universe must love you.”

“It took two failing papers in a row to get it.” He says it without thinking, and Tao stops next to him, his mouth falling open in delight. “No,” Sehun says, holding out a restraining hand as Tao looks ready to start speaking. “ _No_ , Tao -- ”

“Dude!”

“I _wasn’t_ trying!”

“The semester’s barely started! At this rate, you’ll be dating by the time finals come around.”

Sehun hits him. “Seriously, Tao, shut _up_.”

**

It takes Sehun a few days after he finishes a rough draft to work up the courage to text Joonmyun. He doesn’t know how many times he starts something, only to end up backspacing furiously until all that’s left is the cursor blinking up at him as if it’s mocking his inexplicable nerves. He spends his classes with Joonmyun desperately avoiding his corner of the classroom, and he’s so focused on keeping his eyes off of him that he misses everything the professor says. By the time he darts out of his desk at the end of the lecture, he only has a few lines of notes scrawled across an otherwise empty page.

It doesn’t help that Baekhyun has increased his efforts to improve Epsilon Chi’s chances in the Greek Games that are looming closer, and his constant pep talks are a serious distraction as Sehun spaces out during house meetings trying to imagine how he’d word his first text to Joonmyun. It gets him in trouble, and when it happens three times in the same meeting, Chanyeol gently whacks him on the head with his pledge paddle to get his attention.

He’s still nursing that wound when Tao catches him pacing their room with his phone held thoughtfully to his lips. “Planning your epic first text?” he asks, flopping onto his bed and grinning up at Sehun.

Sehun frowns. “I have no idea what to say,” he says, sitting on his own bed. “Like, ’Hey, I think I finished my essay, want to check it out’?”

“I don’t know, that sounds like a good starting place to me.”

Sehun lies down, and a frustrated puff of air shoots out of his mouth. “I feel like that’s too formulaic or something. I want to make it – ”

“Impressive?”

“No, just – ”

“Suggestive?”

Sehun shoots daggers across the room with his eyes before turning to the ceiling and running a hand through his hair. “I just… want to make it sound like I care about it, you know? He went out of his way to give me his number so we could go over stuff outside his office, so I don’t want to be rude or anything.”

Tao scoffs. “Since when do you care about being rude?”

“He’s just nice,” Sehun mumbles, picking at the edge of his phone with his fingernail. He yells when it’s suddenly yanked from his grip, and his stomach turns to lead when he sits up and sees Tao typing away by the door. “What the fuck are you doing?” He launches himself off of his bed, but Tao seems to have anticipated that because he’s scurrying down the hall, cackling as his fingers continue to dance across the touch screen. He throws himself down the stairs with Sehun hot on his heels, and they nearly send Yixing tumbling as they tear past him. It’s a frenzy of yelling and pounding feet, but Sehun finally catches him in the backyard, jumping onto Tao’s back and tackling him to the ground as several of their brothers egg them on from behind.

By the time he wrestles the phone out of his hands, the message has already sent.

_Finished my essay \o/ Can’t wait to hear from you about it xxx_

Sehun quickly rolls off of Tao, who groans something about overreacting and his ability to take a joke. He isn’t listening, though, and he actually feels like he might throw up when Joonmyun’s reply pops up.

_I can’t wait, either! Where would you like to meet up? It’s too late to do anything today, but I’m free tomorrow from 1 to 4 :)_

He stares at the smiley face punctuating the last sentence, the urge to vomit suddenly transformed into a queasy kind of excitement that presses up against the bottom of his lungs.

**

They meet in the library. It’s the first time Sehun’s been there since the beginning of the previous semester, and Joonmyun is waiting for him on the second floor. He has his rough draft clutched in his hands like it might run away if he relaxes his grip. Tao’s idiotic text keeps running through his head, making Sehun freeze from embarrassment when Joonmyun’s bright smile pins him down like a butterfly.

“You found me,” he says, gesturing for Sehun to sit opposite him at the table.

“Yeah,” Sehun says lamely. He hopes the heat he can feel radiating from his body is from the walk across campus and not the way Joonmyun’s looking at him as if he’s made his day by just showing up. He gestures for Sehun’s paper, and Sehun stiffly places it in front of him. “Should I…?” He hooks a thumb over his shoulder when Joonmyun looks up from the paper with raised eyebrows.

“If you want,” Joonmyun says. “I won’t feel awkward if you stay, though.” He’s smiling again, and then he’s turning his attention back to the homework assignment. Sehun decides to stay, mostly because he doesn’t want to look stupid wandering aimlessly around the library by himself. He pretends to check his phone instead, surreptitiously studying Joonmyun as he does so. He looks more relaxed today; he’s even wearing a T-shirt under his cardigan instead of a button down. He looks smaller than he usually does, too, almost delicate. His thin arms, the concave curve of his chest under his shirt, his elegantly small hands – it makes Sehun wonder how he’d feel under his arm, tucked up against his chest, or how his waist would feel under his hand, if it would be as supple as it looks under the folds of his sweater.

Sehun quickly shakes that thought out of his head, and he turns away from Joonmyun to study the titles on the nearest shelf. Such a simple task quickly proves itself to be quite difficult, though; it takes most of Sehun’s concentration to keep his eyes off of Joonmyun, especially when this is the first time he’s close enough to get a whiff of his almost floral cologne. The effort of it slows time down, and it feels like forever until Joonmyun finally announces that he’s finished and Sehun’s neck snaps back to him like it’s loaded with a rubber band. He tries his best to pay attention as Joonmyun points out the spots where he can improve, and the amount of blue scribbles on the white paper makes him a little nervous, but he finds himself caught up in the way Joonmyun’s lips move and stretch as he talks, instead.

“Did you get all that?” Sehun blinks, watching the way Joonmyun’s eyebrows scrunch together.

“Uh,” he says. “Yeah.”

“Okay…” Joonmyun shuffles the unstapled pages into order before sliding them back to Sehun. “You still have my marginal notes, though, so just look those over again as you write up your final draft.”

“Do you want to come to a party this weekend?”

The words are out of his mouth before he realizes he’s said them, and when Joonmyun looks at him like he’d suggested they go find a crack dealer, his face erupts in a blush. “I – I mean,” he stammers, “it’s not – you don’t have to – forget I said anything…”

Joonmyun shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “That’s not really my scene, you know?” he says.

“Yeah, I totally get it, I wasn’t really thinking, it’s fine, you really don’t have to – ”

“I don’t see how it would hurt, though,” Joonmyun adds with a shy smile.

Sehun’s mouth goes slack. “What?”

“I mean – unless you really didn’t mean it, then it’s fine, I understand – ”

Sehun frantically waves his hands. “No, no, no! I – I totally meant it.” He gives a nervous laugh, not quite believing just how on-edge he feels right now. “I’ll… text you when it is,” he says. “And where,” he adds. “Just. In a text. Later.”

Joonmyun smiles, and it makes Sehun’s stomach turn. “I’ll look forward to it.”

**

He’s too embarrassed to immediately return to the house and Tao’s inevitable hoots of laughter, so Sehun makes a beeline for the sophomore housing. He hasn’t been in the dorms since last year, but the peppy decorations cut out by the RAs are still familiar as he hurries down the hall, stopping only when he reaches the door with the dancing dinosaurs taped onto it.

“What is it?” Jongin’s frowning, but Sehun breezes past him and quickly finds a spot on the edge of his bed. “Sehun?”

“Taemin isn’t here, is he?” he asks, looking around for Jongin’s roommate as he tries to buy time.

“What happened?” Jongin asks, his arms crossed in the still-open doorway.

“I think I just asked my TA out.”

Jongin closes the door and climbs onto his bed, facing Sehun as he sits cross-legged. “Really?”

Sehun takes a deep breath. His head still feels like it’s spinning. “I mean, I don’t know if it actually counts as asking him out,” he says, glancing over at Jongin, “but I invited him to the Epsilon Chi party tomorrow night?”

“Him?”

“Shit.” Sehun licks his lips and looks down at his lap. “Fuck. Shit.”

Jongin’s hands flutter around him in an attempt to calm him down. “It’s okay,” he says, snatching his hands back when Sehun gives him a look. “Really, I promise.”

“You’re not, like, shocked, or anything?”

“Honestly? No, not really.” When Sehun raises his eyebrows incredulously, he says, “Look, I’ve known you since freshman year of high school, okay? And I distinctly remember the huge crush you had on that guy on the track team. What was his name again? Donghae?”

“Fuck you, I didn’t – ”

Jongin gives him a knowing look. “You did.”

“Whatever.” Sehun runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “That’s not even what’s bothering me, to be honest. Like, okay, I’m… gay… for him... but… he probably doesn’t like me.”

“Is he mean to you?”

“No…”

“Is he indifferent?”

“No.”

Jongin purses his lips. “Why don’t you think he likes you, then?”

“He just… He’s nice to me, but he’s also really nice to everyone. And he’s older than me, and in fucking grad school, and I’m in a frat, my grades are really shitty, and, I mean…” He shrugs hopelessly. “Why _would_ he like me?”

Jongin considers him. “Well, you’re good-looking,” he says.

Sehun makes a dismissive noise and turns his head to the side.

“Did he accept the invitation?”

Sehun hesitates. He tries to remember what Joonmyun had said, but all he can recall is the way his stomach had felt like it had been turned inside out. “I think so?”

“Then maybe he likes you,” Jongin says. Instead of feeling relieved, though, Sehun only feels queasier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe this is so old \o/ was a popular thing to do??


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sehun and Joonmyun bond by the ball pit, and Joonmyun learns that wine is not always an appropriate accessory.

Sehun avoids telling Tao about the invite for as long as he can. He actually returns to the library to revise his paper with Joonmyun’s suggestions, if only to escape any probing questions that might come his way; Tao’s always had an uncanny ability to guess what’s on Sehun’s mind, and Sehun needs some time to prepare for the inevitable question: Why _did_ he ask Joonmyun to the next party? It had just come out of Sehun’s mouth without any thought. Even as he tries to focus on his homework, his head is still spinning. From the unwarranted invitation, from the way Joonmyun’s hesitant smile had stuck Sehun like a needle, from Jongin saying “Maybe he likes you.” It’s a lot to process.

Still, he finishes his work more quickly than he’d expected, and he realizes that maybe the library isn’t as lame as he’d written it off to be during his freshman year. It’s quiet, if a little colder than is comfortable, but it definitely doesn’t have the sound of too many unsupervised young men living under one roof.

Baekhyun is also becoming more and more intense about the impending competition, which has led to more and more chaos within the house’s walls. It had begun with an increase in his typical high-octane pep talks, but it’s been escalating over the last few weeks, and when Sehun returns from the library, his paper safely tucked away in his backpack, he finds several of his brothers wandering the house with golf clubs resting over their shoulders. He tries to ignore it, even when a golf ball narrowly misses his head going up the stairs. He almost makes it to his room unscathed and unbothered, too, until he’s intercepted as he passes the bathroom.

Jongdae claps a restraining hand on his shoulder. “Brother Oh!” he says, pulling Sehun closer. “Play golf with us.”

Sehun tries to shrug him off, but Jongdae tightens his grip. Defeated, he sighs petulantly. “Why are you playing golf in the house?”

“Baek thought it’d be cool in case we had to like, impress people with how fun we are,” Jongdae explains, leading Sehun back to the stairs. “He also said something about honing our focus or aim or whatever. I don’t really remember, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Can I put my backpack away at least?” Sehun asks.

“Yeah man.” Jongdae releases him, pats his back as he edges away. “Just don’t stay in there. Your room’s hole 7 or 8 or something.”

As he trots away, Sehun lets out a heavy sigh. There’s no way Joonmyun would be caught dead in a place like this.

**

In class, Joonmyun doesn’t give any indication that Sehun’s invitation had had any effect on him. He smiles when Sehun hands in his paper, and Sehun hopes he can’t see the blush that’s threatening to break out on his face.

Halfway through the lecture, though, Sehun catches Joonmyun’s eyes on him, and he feels like he’s burning for the rest of the period. He thinks that Joonmyun looked just as embarrassed as he feels, but he’s so focused on looking at the professor, he can’t make sure.

Tao helps him out. “What’d you do that has Joonmyun sneaking glances at you all the time now?” he asks as they file out of the room.

“Uh…” Sehun adjusts his backpack to give himself time. “I don’t know?”

Tao narrows his eyes at him. “Did you make a pass at him?”

“Dude, no.” Sehun keeps his eyes trained ahead as he suddenly feels way too warm. “And don’t say ‘make a pass’ ever again. No one says that anymore.”

“What’d you do, then?” Tao presses. “Come on, you can tell me.”

“I’ll tell you later,” Sehun mumbles.

**

Tao doesn’t find out until way later, when he sees Sehun change his outfit four times in the hour leading up to the party.

“Okay, seriously,” he says, giving Sehun a weird look as he watches him check his every angle in the mirror on their closet door. “What’s going on.”

“Nothing,” Sehun says absently, not even sparing a glance in Tao’s direction. “Just getting ready.”

“Yeah,” Tao says. “Ready for a _date_. This is related to a certain TA, isn’t it?”

“No,” Sehun lies.

Tao narrows his eyes in suspicion, but surprisingly enough, he leaves Sehun alone about it. He goes downstairs to see if Chanyeol needs any help with the pool, which he’d announced he’d fill with Jell-o this time around. Sehun studies his reflection in the mirror when he’s alone, wondering if the tank top he has on is too loose around his chest, if Joonmyun would think it too revealing. He also wonders if the snapback on his head is a little _too_ fratty, but then he reminds himself that he _is_ in a frat and that he’s allowed to wear what he wants. That doesn’t stop him from taking it off, though, and as Jongdae starts the music up downstairs, making the floorboards of the room rattle with the bass line, Sehun changes his shirt one more time, exchanging the tank for one of his nicer polos.

He expects Joonmyun to show up relatively early, given how promptly he grades, and he hates the sharp disappointment that sticks in his chest like a fishhook when an hour goes by and he still hasn’t arrived. He knows he’s sulking when he ends up on the front porch again and nursing a cup of beer by himself. He’s wishing he hadn’t been stupid enough to blurt the invitation out when he senses someone’s feet stop a short distance away from him.

Joonmyun’s hesitant smile greets him when he looks up. Sehun has to stifle the laugh that bubbles up in his chest as soon as he sees what he’s wearing, and he loses it when he spots the bottle of merlot half-hidden behind his leg.

“What?” The soft smile disappears into Joonmyun’s worried expression, and it’s enough to make Sehun sober up, at least a little. He gets up, takes him by the hand, and leads him into the house. He feels Joonmyun’s hand tighten around his as they enter the throbbing crowd, and Sehun tries to ignore the tiny leap his heart gives in response.

They go up the stairs, and Sehun silently thanks whatever powers that be when he opens the door to his room and doesn’t find anyone screwing in his or Tao’s bed. After he closes the door behind them, he silently takes the wine from Joonmyun’s hand and sets it on the dresser behind him. When he turns back to consider his blazer and jeans, he’s struck momentarily dumb by the difference in their heights.

“You’re short,” he blurts, and almost immediately, he breaks out in a furious blush as he looks away from the mixture of confusion and indignation that’s gathering on Joonmyun’s face.

“I’m sorry?” he says.

Sehun swallows as much of the embarrassment as he can and says, “Sorry, I just… I never noticed that you were this height. One or both of us is always sitting when we see each other.”

“Oh.” Joonmyun looks away, too, and suddenly Sehun becomes far too aware of the fact that they’re alone in his room.

He awkwardly clears his throat. “You, uh… you should take off your blazer.”

“ _What_?”

“It makes you look thirty!” Sehun’s face is on fire again as he realizes what his words might have sounded like. “You can’t wear that downstairs.”

Joonmyun looks down at himself. “I thought it was cool,” he mumbles.

Sehun bites the inside of his cheek to restrain the laugh that’s threatening to burst out of his mouth. Instead, he reaches out and tugs at the lapel. “It’s hideous,” he chokes out. The levees break when Joonmyun snorts and they end up clutching each other to stay standing. After they manage to collect themselves, Joonmyun shucks the blazer, and Sehun reaches over to rub a hand over his head.

“Hey.” Joonmyun ducks away half-heartedly. “Don’t say my hair is bad, too.”

“I’m just trying to help you fit in better,” Sehun says with an indulgent smile.

“God,” Joonmyun breathes, looking down at his feet. “I shouldn’t have come, I know – ”

“No, no.” Sehun holds his hands up in a placating gesture. “Don’t worry about it. I promise.”

“Can you give me back my wine now, then?” he asks, and Sehun swears that he’s teasing him with the twinkle in his eyes. “If I’m going to survive tonight, I’m going to have to get really drunk.”

Sehun considers the bottle that’s managed to find its way into his hands again. “I think you’re going to need something stronger.”

**

As it turns out, it doesn’t take much to get Joonmyun really drunk. He’s more than tipsy after only his first shot hits him, and after a few more he’s sloppily relaxed, no longer a nervous wreck with his spine wound up tightly. Sehun stays fairly sober since he feels responsible for forcing Joonmyun into this situation, but he hopes that it’s the few drinks he’s already had that’s making his insides fizz like a soda as he follows Joonmyun around, and not something else. Joonmyun isn’t anything like Sehun had expected – he doesn’t know _what_ he had been expecting, but it definitely hadn’t been this bright, sparkling version of Joonmyun that sways to the music and watches Sehun like he’s the only person in the room who matters. It’s overwhelming, and Sehun feels a little drunk, himself, as Joonmyun squeezes his hand, grins up at him, and invades his space, leaning in close to shout over the music that he’s having fun. His hair has slipped out of its careful styling to stick messily to his temples, and his eyes are bright, his cheeks flushed. He’s beautiful, and, as he throws his head back to laugh at something someone said, exposing the elegant stretch of his neck, Sehun feels like he’s in way over his head.

They end up leaning against the railing on the back porch, watching people throw Jell-o at each other in the pool. No one else is near them, and the privacy  of the moment makes Sehun’s stomach churn as he carefully studies his hands instead of the person next to him.

He looks over when he hears Joonmyun breathe in like he’s about to speak. His stomach constricts  when he sees that Joonmyun had been watching him, the soft smile pulling at his lips way too inviting, even for Sehun’s level of sobriety.

“You know,” he says, and his eyes are dancing with something Sehun is afraid to identify. “I almost thought about not coming.”

“Really?”

His chewed-pink lips scrunch to the side as he thinks, and Sehun has to look away for a second to keep himself in check.

“I just… thought I might regret it?” he says, and Sehun’s eyes return to him, surprised. “I was scared I would embarrass myself.”

Sehun snorts. “Yeah, well, you did with that blazer. You still are with that Calvin Klein shirt.”

Joonmyun pouts his lips into an outraged ‘o’ that’s entirely too cute. “What’s wrong with my shirt!”

“It makes you look old.”

“I’m fucking twenty-four!” he cries, mirroring Sehun’s incredulous grin.

“It’s so weird when you cuss,” Sehun laughs.

“Fuck!” Joonmyun shouts at him, and his voice cracks with a laugh as Sehun doubles over, the railing the only thing keeping him from falling. “Ass! Shit, tits, cock!”

Sehun lunges toward him and covers his mouth with his hand, his body still wracked with giggles. “Okay, okay,” he says. “Oh, my God.” He shrieks when he feels Joonmyun’s wet tongue against his palm, and he jumps away, knocking his drink to the ground in the process. After he straightens out, Joonmyun playfully leans against him.

“You’re really pretty decent, you know that?” he says.

Sehun half-heartedly tries to push him off. “I don’t know about that,” he mumbles.

“No, really.” Joonmyun rests his chin on Sehun’s bicep. “You’re more mature than you give yourself credit for.”

Sehun scoffs and looks away. “I’m in a fraternity. Immaturity is like, a requirement for joining.”

“I’m a fucking psychologist,” Joonmyun laughs. “I can read your mind.”

Sehun raises his eyebrows. “You can read minds? Then what am I thinking, right now?”

Joonmyun presses even closer, and Sehun thinks he might’ve lost his balance. He licks his lips thoughtfully, making the breath catch in Sehun’s throat. “You…” He narrows his smiling eyes and presses his nose into Sehun’s shoulder like he’s shy. “You’re having fun,” he says. “You’re not sure why, and you don’t have any idea what you’re doing with your life, but right now…” He bites back a smile. “You look happy.”

“Are _you_ happy?” Sehun asks quietly.

Joonmyun’s face suddenly becomes serious and Sehun immediately regrets the question. He straightens himself out, resting his elbows on the railing as he thoughtfully watches the Jell-o fight continuing in front of them. “Yeah,” he says. “I think so.”

Sehun puts his elbows next to Joonmyun’s and studies his profile. “You think so?”

Joonmyun nods his head. He turns to look at Sehun with a wan smile. “Yeah.”

**

By the time the party starts to wind down, Joonmyun is in no shape to drive himself home, so Sehun carefully leads him up to his room, where he gently deposits him on his bed.

“Isn’t taking me to bed a bit forward of you?” he asks, chuckling as Sehun starts taking off his shoes.

“You’re too drunk to drive,” Sehun explains. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“That’s very chivalric of you,” Joonmyun murmurs, and when Sehun peeks over at him, he looks genuinely touched.

Sehun scoffs. “It’s not a big deal,” he mumbles. “I – ”

He stops when Joonmyun’s hand is suddenly covering his. “Thank you,” he says. “Really.”

Sehun just looks at him dumbly, his mouth hanging open like an idiot, but he feels a palpable shift in the atmosphere. Everything becomes suffocatingly tense as Joonmyun’s eyes don’t leave his own. They’re really close to each other, and Sehun’s heart is all but ready to burst out of his chest; he wonders if Joonmyun can hear it, because it’s pounding in his ears like a drum. Then Joonmyun’s eyes begin to drift downwards, and theys top at what Sehun thinks might be his lips, and, suddenly, he can’t breathe. He bites his bottom lip self-consciously, the roar in his ears building up to something entirely deafening as Joonmyun’s hand gives a squeeze...

“Papa Joon Money’s staying the night!” Tao cries behind them, and the sudden disruption makes Sehun all but choke on his heart. Joonmyun tears his hand away as he scoots back, and Sehun doesn’t know if the color warming his cheeks is from shame, or embarrassment, or both. Tao stumbles over to his bed, where he flops down with a loud exhale. “Joon Money partying it up,” he says; he’s clearly drunk, and Sehun can feel the adrenaline draining from his body as Tao worms his way under his covers. “Joon Money and - and - ” He turns to squint at Sehun. “What’s my street name?”

Sehun can feel Joonmyun’s curious eyes on the back of his head. “I don’t remember,” Sehun lies, embarrassed that this is being brought up right now.

“Bullshit,” Tao says. “We talked about this like, last week.”

“I’m curious, too,” Joonmyun pipes up, polite as ever.

“Baked Ziti,” Sehun says through clenched teeth. “Your street name is Baked Ziti.”

Tao cackles, and Sehun can hear Joonmyun chuckling behind him. “Because I’m Zitao, and I get baked with Yixing sometimes.”

“That’s right.” Sehun’s setting up a nest of blankets on the floor now, determined to end this conversation and get to sleep. “It’s hilarious.”

“It _is_.”

Sehun peeks at Joonmyun, who’s managed to tuck himself in. He tries to ignore the weird feeling the sight of Joonmyun under his covers sets off in the pit of his stomach, but it rises up in his throat like acid reflux as he gets up to turn off the lights.

When all three of them are lying down, and Sehun’s finally about to drift off, Joonmyun whispers something in the dark.

Sehun blearily sits up. “What?”

Joonmyun’s voice is soft, a gentle puff of air. “I had fun. Thank you.”

Sehun smiles sleepily up at him. “You’re welcome.”

Joonmyun falls asleep quickly after that, but Sehun lies awake for at least another hour, listening to the sounds of the house quieting down around them. He tells himself it’s just the hard floor digging into his back, but even as Tao’s drunken snoring picks up, he’s still alert and watching Joonmyun’s hand twitch in his sleep.

He doesn’t want to admit that this might be a crush, but as he remembers the way Joonmyun was pressed up against him earlier on the porch, something kindles in his chest that he isn’t sure he can easily extinguish. A soft, sleepy sigh eases out of Joonmyun then, and Sehun’s heart lurches, tenderness welling up in him as he resists the urge to reach up and take Joonmyun’s hand in his. He wants so badly to do it, to pull Joonmyun down into his nest of blankets and bury his face into his soft neck. It’s far too easy to imagine it with Joonmyun right next to him, and a dull ache settles into the pit of his chest as he watches Joonmyun shift in his sleep, the light from the window above his bed creating a hazy halo around him.

He doesn’t like where this is going.


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tao continues to be a mean friend, Jongin tries to be a bro, and Sehun accidentally dates an older woman.

Joonmyun looks like he’s still a little worse for the wear when Sehun walks into class on Monday. There are dark circles shadowing his eyes, and his collar looks a little less crisp than normal.  “Crazy weekend?” Sehun asks, unable to keep a smile off of his face as he hands in his paper.

Joonmyun blinks up at him wryly, a smile threatening to twist his lips.  “You wouldn’t know the half of it.”

“What the _fuck_ ,” Tao says when they’re back at their seats.    

“Don’t,” Sehun says.  He wants to wipe the scandalized grin off of Tao’s face.

“Oh, we are having this conversation whether you want to or not,” Tao says.  “You two were attached at the hip last night, okay, _something_ is going to happen soon.”

“I was the only person he knew there!” Sehun hisses.

“Bullshit,” Tao says.  “He knows Baek.”

“ _What_?”

The professor clears his throat to begin the lecture, and Sehun wants to cry out in frustration.

“See?” Tao says, leaning back in his chair and smugly crossing his arms.  “We _are_ continuing this conversation.”

**

As soon as class ends, Sehun asks, “How does he know Baekhyun?”

Tao shrugs.  “Not sure, maybe you should ask him on your next date.”

“Dude!” Sehun glares at him.  “Don’t fucking tease like that!”

“What _I_ can’t believe,” Tao says, “Is that you’re not off following Joonmyun around like a love-struck puppy, because that’s what you are.”

Sehun gapes at his friend. “I have never -- you -- ” He crosses his arms. “You’re wrong.”

Tao makes a noise that’s somewhere between a scoff and a snort. “Yeah,” he says, zipping up his backpack. “ _I’m_ wrong.”

“I’m hanging out with Jongin and Taemin from now on,” Sehun says. “You suck so much -- ” He stops short as Joonmyun walks by, studiously ignoring them as he adjusts the strap of his satchel on his shoulder. Furious, and really worried about what Joonmyun might have overheard, he throws one of his pens at Tao.

“Ow!”

“Shut up, it didn’t even hit you.”

Tao stands up and throws his bag over his shoulder with a huff. “I can’t believe you’re being so immature about this.”

“ _Me_ ?” Sehun gapes at him “ _I’m_ the immature one.”

“Uh, yeah,” Tao says, turning to leave. “You are.”

Sehun follows. “What the fuck?”

“Clearly, Joonmyun is feeling your vibe,” Tao says. He has to speak a little louder, as they move through the busy hallway. “So don’t shy away from it. Embrace the rainbow, dude.”

Sehun rolls his eyes. “It’s not like that.”

“Ho,” Tao hoots. “Bullshit!”

“Anyway,” Sehun says, bulldozing over whatever Tao is going to add on, “Please give me some privacy about this, okay? You’re so _meddlesome_.”

“I only meddle because I care!”

“You know who doesn’t meddle?” Sehun asks. “Jongin doesn’t meddle.”

Tao scoffs.  “Well, Taemin doesn’t like you. So have fun with that.”

“And how do you know that?”

“He doesn’t care about anyone who doesn’t dance with him,” Tao laughs.  “Don’t be such a baby, God.”

Sehun heaves a sigh, stopping in front of the building his next class is in.  “Then don’t be such a fucking dick.”

**

Sore at Tao, and desperate for a pair of sympathetic ears, Sehun keeps his promise of spending more time with Jongin.  He finds him in the athletic center, stretching by himself in one of the practice rooms.

“This is unexpected,” Jongin remarks, but he smiles nonetheless at Sehun’s reflection in the mirror.

Sehun leans against the back wall and shrugs.  “Tao threw a bitchfit so I’ve ditched him for a while.”

“Another couple’s dispute?”

Sehun makes a face like he’d just bitten into a lemon.  “Fuck, no,” he says.

Jongin laughs.  “How was the party?” he asks.  “Did your TA come?”

Immediately, images of Joonmyun grinning up at him with his messy hair and shining eyes flood Sehun’s head.  Heat flashes through him, and he hopes he isn’t blushing.  “He did,” he says, shyly studying his feet.  “It was fun.”

“That’s good.”  Jongin grins up at Sehun as he transitions into another stretch.

“Yeah.”  Sehun slides down the wall until he’s sitting, his stomach knotted up.  “He… well, he was drunk, but he – I think he almost kissed me?”

Jongin’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.  “Really?”

“He was really drunk,” Sehun repeats, wringing his hands.  “I doubt he meant it.”

“People often do the things they secretly want to do when they’re drunk,” Jongin says, moving again.

“Yeah, but…”  Sehun’s afraid to look at Jongin as a nervous sweat breaks out across his body.  “I don’t know why he would.”

Jongin scoffs.  “Please,” he says.  “Don’t start that again.”

“I’m not starting anything,” Sehun mumbles petulantly.

Jongin sits up and purses his lips at Sehun.  “Have more confidence in yourself,” he says.  “You’re a cool guy.  And I know you’re feeling down, but…”  He pauses, biting his lip as he thinks.  

“What?”

“I’m only just coming up with this, but I think I know someone I can set you up with - if you want to get your mind off of all this stuff with your TA, that is!” he adds when Sehun’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.  

“Thanks...”  Sehun tries to swallow the negativity that’s making his fists clench in his lap.  “I might actually take you up on that? If you can plan something, at least.”

He doesn’t know why he’s saying yes - he knows he likes Joonmyun, but he also knows that Joonmyun doesn’t - or shouldn’t - like him, too.  He’s just a student in his class, and anything else would bring in unnecessary complications for both of them.  And as Jongin beams and pulls out his phone to find this new person, Sehun can’t help but feel grateful to his friend, doing everything he can to help Sehun feel better.

“Thanks,” he says again, startling Jongin out of his focused rambling.  “I appreciate this.”

Jongin’s smile is so kind, it kind of makes Sehun want to cry a little.  “That’s what friends are for, right?” he asks.  He turns back to his phone to scroll through his contacts.  “And this doesn’t have to turn into anything serious.  Taeyeon just got out of a relationship anyway, so I don’t think she’s out to get engaged to anyone just yet.”

“That’s nice,” Sehun deadpans.

Jongin hands him his phone.  “Here’s her phone number.  Do you want me to text her for you first?”

“Sure.”

Jongin pauses his focused typing.  “You don’t sound very enthusiastic.”

“No, no, set something up,” Sehun says.  “Why not, right?”

“She’s really nice,” Jongin offers.  “She’s actually a bit older, but you’ve always liked older women, haven’t you?”

“How much older is she?” Sehun asks.  “How do you know her?”

“From dance,” Jongin says.  “She’s a choreographer.”

“You’re setting me up with your choreographer.”

Jongin blinks.  “Is that too weird?”

Sehun shrugs.  “I don’t know.”  He leans back on his hands, thinking of what Joonmyun might say if he told him he was dating a choreographer.  “Text her for me.”

They’re quiet for a few moments while Jongin carefully crafts a text, and then he’s turning off his phone and tossing it aside.  “Done and done.”

Sehun smiles.  “Thanks, bud.”

Jongin claps a warm hand on his arm.  “No problem.”

“You’re way more supportive than Tao.”

Jongin laughs.  “Does this mean I’m still your best-best friend?”

Sehun smiles at him.  “Only if it means I’m your best friend over Taemin.”

**

Baekhyun has a house meeting underway when Sehun returns, and he swallows nervously when everyone turns to stare at him as he gently closes the door behind him.  Baekhyun pauses his speech, his hand falling to his side from where it had been gesturing to some kind of diagram he’d taped onto the TV.  “Dude,” he says.  “I sent like, five texts reminding you about this, what the fuck?”

“I’m sorry, I got held up with something.”  Sehun squeezes onto the couch between Jongdae and Yixing.  “But I’m here now.”  In truth, he hadn’t even checked his texts, but it’s better that Baekhyun and everyone else in the house doesn’t know that.

“Do you think this is a game?” Baekhyun asks.  “I mean, I know they’re called games, but the Greek Games are serious business.  We all have to be on our game.”

“I thought you said it wasn’t a game, though,” Yixing says, squinting in confusion.

“We all have to be on top of it,” Baekhyun says, and some of the brothers snigger at his phrasing.  He points at Sehun.  “You,” he says, “will be needed for the wet T-shirt contest, at the very least.”

“Isn’t that just for the sororities?” Tao says.

Baekhyun turns to point at him.  “Not this year,” he says.  “Girls _and_ boys.”

“Sehun can’t rock a wet T-shirt,” Jongdae scoffs.  “He has a body like a wet noodle.”

“It’ll _work_ ,” Baekhyun insists.  “Girls like skinny dudes who look like they smoke weed.”

“I don't smoke weed, though,” Sehun says.

Baekhyun ignores him.  “It is my dream as president of this fine fraternity that we make the Greek Games our bitch,” he says.  “People need to know that there’s more to us than killer good looks and even deadlier karaoke skills.”

“Yeah, I don’t think people care about the karaoke,” Jongdae quips.

Baekhyun sticks his finger in his direction.  “Don’t fucking shit on karaoke.”

“You’re like my grandma with that thing!” Jongdae cries.

“Fuck you!”

“What’s that?” Sehun asks, pointing to the diagram on the TV and hoping to God he’ll change the subject.

The bickering immediately stops, and Baekhyun studies the poster for a second, as if he’d forgotten it was even there.  “My game plan,” he concludes.

Sehun raises a dubious eyebrow.  “Okay.”  He’s relieved when Baekhyun starts going over it again, pointing to different drawings and explaining their role in his master plan.  Sehun tries to pay attention, but his mind is drawn back to Joonmyun drunk-flushed in his bed the other night.  He keeps replaying Joonmyun’s eyes dropping to his lips, the intake of air that had made Sehun so sure something was going to happen, the way he had scrambled back as soon as Tao had come through the door.  He wonders if Joonmyun remembers any of it, or if the alcohol had wiped it from his memory.  If he does, Sehun hesitates to think about how much he probably regrets it.

He snaps out of his reverie when a pledge paddle hits the back of his head.  “Earth to Sehun,” Chanyeol says from behind.

“What?”  Sehun rubs the tender spot.

“Our fundraiser,” Baekhyun says frantically.  “Give us an idea.”

“I don’t fucking know.”  Sehun flinches when Chanyeol raises the pledge paddle.  “Maybe, like…”

“It has to be good,” Jongdae says.  “It’s a big part of the Games.”

“It is twenty percent of our final score,” Baekhyun says, staring intently at Sehun.  “We have to go big, or go home.”

Sehun glances at the TV, where a makeshift list of ideas has been scrawled onto the poster; it’s extremely uninspiring.  “We could…”  He chews on his lip as he thinks.  “We could do like, a car wash or something,” he says.

“Isn’t that a thing for girls, though?”

Baekhyun snaps his fingers.  “It’s perfect!”  He grabs Sehun’s head with both hands and sloppily kisses his forehead.  “I knew you would help us!”

“What the fuck,” Chanyeol says.  “No one wants a bunch of dudes doing that.”

“It’ll be a sexy concept,” Baekhyun says.  “Everyone goes shirtless.”

They all agree on the motion, and Sehun crosses his arms and slouches into the couch as the discussion moves on to plan another event.  He feels a little guilty that this kind of stuff bores him, but he honestly doesn’t care about the pros and cons of Tao’s suggestion that they sponsor a mud wrestling tournament in the pool for the next party.  He’d joined the fraternity because he’d wanted to make friends that were outside his circle with Jongin, which, after they came here, became mostly made of up dancers.  Now, though, he almost wishes he had taken up dancing himself if it meant he didn’t have to hear Jongdae and Baekhyun argue over the karaoke machine for a second time.

**

Sehun’s date is a few nights later, and Jongin texts him a few tips on what he should wear and where they should go.  It feels a little like a joke as he sits in an Italian restaurant Jongin had recommended waiting for her to show up, like he’s in the beginning of a romantic comedy and this part is to illustrate how he’s meeting all the wrong people before the right person comes around.  But he shakes that feeling out of his head when Taeyeon finally _does_ show up, looking a bit sheepish as he stands up to help her with her seat.

“No, no, sit down, it’s okay,” she says, waving him away.  She’s a lot smaller than Sehun had expected - Jongin had showed him a picture of her beforehand, of course, but she barely comes up to his shoulders as they awkwardly shuffle around one another.  

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she says once they’re both seated, and she looks like she means it, although Sehun feels like he might stay salty for a while.  “I got lost trying to find this place.”

Sehun can’t help the smile that tugs on his lips.  “That sounds really believable.”

She laughs, and Sehun thinks she looks really pretty, with her bobbed hair and wide eyes.  “I know, but it really is true.”

Sehun nods, not sure what else he should say.  

“So how do you know Jongin?” she asks, starting the conversation herself as she scans the menu.  “He just said you’re an old friend.”

“That’s… kind of it,” he says with a slight shrug.  “We went to high school together and both danced, and now we’re going to the same college.”

Her eyes flick up to him in surprise.  “You dance?”

Sehun wishes he hadn’t brought that up now; she’s leaning forward, looking expectant, and he knows he’s only going to disappoint.  “Well, I _did_ ,” he says for clarification.  “I stopped after high school.”

“Why?” She sits back then, and Sehun can feel the fate of this date hanging precariously between them.  

“I just wanted to focus on other stuff while I’m here,” he says.  

“That’s understandable,” she says, but Sehun wonders if she actually understands, or if she’s only saying that because it’s a first date and neither of them want to step on the other’s toes.  

And as the date continues, Sehun can’t decide whether it’s going well or not.  They get their food, and the conversation flows well, but Sehun can pretty much tell Taeyeon is only on this date because Jongin suggested it.  And, well, Sehun’s only on this date, too, because Jongin suggested it, but everything still feels forced, as both of them try to get to know each other as well as two people can over Italian food and a lot of red wine on her part.

“How old are you?” he’s suddenly asking as they wait on their dessert.

A loud laugh slips out of her, and she covers her grin with her hand.  “That’s, like, the one question you can’t ask a woman!” she laughs.  “Especially one that’s older than you.”

Sehun shuffles his feet uncomfortably under the table.  “I know, but Jongin wouldn’t tell me, and, I mean, you’re beautiful, you look great, there’s nothing wrong on that end - ”  He knows he’s babbling, but the pleased, almost shy look that crosses her face makes Sehun think this night might be salvageable, after all.  “I’m just curious, is all,” he finally says.  “But if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine - the mystery is good, too.”

“I’m twenty-five,” she says with a gentle smile that has Sehun suddenly thinking of Joonmyun.  “Is that too old?”

“No, no…”  So she's a year older than Joonmyun. Sehun doesn't know what to do with that information.  “It’s fine.”

She sighs, suddenly looking relieved.  “My last boyfriend was a little older than me, so seeing someone younger is a new for me,” she admits.  “You’re nice, though.”

Sehun feels a vague blush start up as the waiter shows up with their desserts.  “You’re not so bad yourself,” he says.

He covers the bill (though, to be honest, it’s pretty substantially outside his budget; for a brief second he catches himself wondering how he and Joonmyun would split the check, but he quickly dismisses that train of thought), and they walk out together side by side, Taeyeon pulling her wrap closer around herself as they go outside.  

“I had a nice time,” she says when they pause on the curb, turning to offer a small smile up at him.  “I have to thank Jongin for coming up with this idea.”

“Yeah.”  Sehun rocks back onto his heels, his hands in his pockets.  “It was good.”  He peeks over at her, unsure of what he’s supposed to do next.  Does he walk her back to her car?  Invite her to do something else?  If she were his age, he might invite her back to the house, but he feels like a house full of fraternity brothers isn’t an ideal setting for someone like Taeyeon, in her loose-fitting dress and dainty shoes.  

She clears her throat.  “Do you… want to walk me back to my car?”

“Sure,” Sehun says.  He looks around. “Where is it?”

“Over here.” She sets off then, her heels clicking against the pavement.  Sehun follows, feeling more like _she’s_ taking him to her car, rather than the other way around.

Sehun doesn’t really know what he’s still doing there as Taeyeon digs around in her purse for her keys; it feels like she’s practically forgotten he followed her.  “Uh,” he says, clearing his throat.  He doesn’t want to say what he’s about to say.  “Do - do you think you could give me a ride back to my house?  I… don’t have a car.”

She stops with her hand in her purse to give him an incredulous look.  “How did you get here?”

Sehun can’t look her in the eye as he admits, “I had someone drop me off.”

She snorts, clearly unimpressed.  “Wow.”

“Well, maybe when I’m also twenty-five, I’ll be able to have my own car,” he snaps, and she laughs, her keys finally in hand.

“Let’s go, then,” she says.  “Before it’s past your bedtime.”

Sehun rolls his eyes.  “Ha, ha,” he says humorlessly.

They don’t speak much in the car, and Taeyeon turns her music up so they don’t feel as much of a need to fill the silence.  The restaurant isn’t far from the house, for which Sehun is immensely grateful as they pull up in front of it a short while later.

Taeyeon eyes the E-X-O attached to the front of the house, with its flaking paint and some unidentifiable stain that’s been there since before Sehun joined.  “Looks nice.”

“Would you like to come to a party next weekend?” Sehun asks, and it’s only when Taeyeon’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise that he realizes what’s come out of his mouth.  He swears internally; _why_ does he keep inviting people to parties?

Taeyeon blinks, and sits back in the driver’s seat.  “Oh, God, I haven’t been to a proper college party in _years_ …”  Sehun’s kicking himself for asking such a stupid question, but then she says, “But that sounds like a lot of fun.”  She smiles at him, and again, Sehun realizes just how pretty she is.  “Text me the information later?”

Sehun nods, not quite sure what’s happening.  “Yeah.  I can… do that.”

“Cool.  I’ll see you later, then.”

“Yeah…”  Then Sehun’s getting out of the car, and she drives off as he heads toward the front door.  He pauses before opening it, though, leaning against the side of the house and wondering how, exactly he’s ended up in this situation.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sehun's grades improve, midterms begin, and history fails to repeat itself.

A few days later, Sehun forgets about his strange date altogether when Joonmyun surprises him with a text instead of an email to let him know his paper has been graded.  Sehun pretends he doesn’t notice the way his heart leaps when he sees something from Joonmyun’s number in his notifications, and he definitely tries to ignore the way it thuds when he reads the message:   _ Your paper was SO GOOD this week, I’m so proud!!  Come to my office tomorrow btw 2 and 3:30 to pick up? :) _

“What’s got you looking so over the moon?” Tao asks when he sees the goofy grin Sehun’s failing to suppress. 

“Nothing, nothing.”  Sehun innocently tucks his phone back into his pocket.

“You’re such a horrible liar.”  Tao’s pouting, but Sehun ignores him, opting instead to join Jongdae in an impromptu Mario Kart tournament.

**

Joonmyun is beaming when Sehun gets to his office, and Sehun is fighting off a smile of his own as he trips over some boxes on the way in.  “You still haven’t cleared anything up,” he says once he’s sitting.

Joonmyun shrugs.  “My roommate keeps bugging me about it, but there’s so much stuff, it’s kind of a lost cause, don’t you think?”

“You have a roommate?”

He nods.  “Yeah.  He’s a grad student, like me, but Biochemistry.  He’s way too smart for his own good, to be honest.”  He hands Sehun his paper.  “Just like you’ll be, if you keep up this kind of work.”

Sehun’s smile falls when he sees the grade.  “I got a B?” he says, his eyebrows bunching together.

“Do you know how spectacular that is after your last two grades?” Joonmyun says.

“Well, yeah, but…”  Sehun purses his lips.  “Yeah,” he finishes lamely.

“I wanted to give you an A simply for how much you’d improved, I really did,” Joonmyun says, and when Sehun flicks his eyes up at him, he looks sincere.  “But I can’t just give you A’s because I like you personally.  I have to try to be professional, you know?”

Sehun’s stomach starts acting up at the throwaway comment, and he has to look down at his lap to hide the blush he can feel heating up his face.  “I guess,” he says.

“The midterm for our class is in two weeks,” Joonmyun says, “and I think you can do really well.  Keep up whatever you’ve been doing, alright?  I’m going to hold a review session sometime next weekend, so think about coming to that.”  He smiles.  “I’d really like to see you there.”

“Yeah,” Sehun says.  “Yeah, okay.”

“And bring Tao,” Joonmyun adds.  “He could use it, too.”

Sehun snorts.  “Right, we’ll see about that.”

“Anyway, you’re free to go now,” Joonmyun says.  “I won’t take up any more of your time.”

“Actually,” Sehun says.  “Tao said you know Baekhyun.  Is that true?”

Now it’s Joonmyun’s turn to snort.  “I was his RA when he was a freshman,” he explains.  “And I’m not surprised one bit that he’s the president of a frat now.”

“Oh,”  Sehun says.  “Okay.”

“Is that disappointing?”

Sehun shakes his head.  “Tao just made it out like you were really close with him or something.  Of course, he’s a fucking liar, so I don’t know why I believed him.”

Joonmyun laughs.  “Just make sure he comes to the review session.”

“Don’t worry,” Sehun says , getting up.  “I will.”

**

It’s a frenzy the whole week leading up to midterms as every professor tries to cram what they can into the few days they have left.  Baekhyun also becomes more and more frantic trying to plot the rest of his grand plan to take over the Greek Games, and Sehun wonders if he’s even put any time aside for studying as he runs around the house finalizing plans with all of the brothers.  He probably reminds Sehun at least five separate times of what he’s needed for, always emphasizing the importance of participation.

“We’re in this together,” he says, clapping Sehun on the shoulder and looking so intensely into his eyes that Sehun briefly wonders if he should perhaps call the school’s counseling center for help.  “Blood is thicker than water, alright?”

“We’re not blood-related,” Sehun reminds him with narrowed eyes.

“Well, good,” Baekhyun says, pointing at him.  “’Cause I’d fucking disown you for saying something like that.”

It’s a nightmare, if Sehun’s being honest, and he spends more time in the library each day catching up on homework and studying.  There’s the added bonus that it gives him an excuse to get away from the chaos of the house, but Sehun would rather get hazed again than admit that to anyone.  He feels guilty about it, and it isn’t the first time that a thought like this has crossed his mind.  He tells himself it’s just the stress from his classes, that as soon as midterms are over, things will be back to normal.

The nightmare only gets worse when, during a Red Bull-induced study orgy, Sehun gets a text from Taeyeon asking if the party is still underway.

His stomach plummets, his head swims, and he jerks in surprise when he feels Tao lean over his shoulder to read what’s on his phone. 

“Did you invite Joonmyun to our monthly party  _ again _ ?”  

“It’s someone Jongin set me up with,” Sehun blurts.

Tao’s jaw nearly falls off.  “ _ What _ ?”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Sehun sniffs, playing with his phone so he can avoid Tao’s probing gaze. His stomach twists with nerves.  “We went out to dinner last week.  She’s his choreographer.”

“ _ She _ ?”

Sehun looks at him with narrowed eyes.  “I’ve dated girls before.”

Tao holds his hands up.  “I know, I know, but it’s not like you don’t have a giant boner for Joonmyun, either.”

Sehun slaps his arm.  “Shut up.”

“Do you like her?”

He shrugs.  “I don’t know.”

Tao purses his lips. “Doesn’t sound like you do.”

Sehun chooses not to mention the fact that he had forgotten about her completely until today. “Well, we’ll see if she also almost kisses me when she gets drunk,” he says instead.  “That seems to be a good indicator of my chemistry with people lately.”

Tao chuckles.  “Whatever, man.”

**

Taeyeon shows up to the party looking very different from the last time Sehun had seen her: Instead of a nice dress and nice shoes, she’s wearing high-waisted pants and a crop top that says “Hands off” in large white letters. Her hair looks artfully mussed, and as he takes in the lacy choker and pink lipstick, Sehun isn’t sure that he likes this version of her. He can’t help but remember Joonmyun, with his blazer and bottle of wine, standing in that same spot only a few weeks ago.

“Isn’t it a bad idea to have a house party right before midterms?” she asks by way of greeting before brushing past him into the noisy house.

“It’s strategic,” he explains, and he has to shout over the music as they face each other in the black-lit foyer.  “No one else does this, and a lot of people need a break from studying for a night.”

Her smile is sly when she looks up at him.  “Clever.”

“It was our president’s idea,” Sehun says, and, as if by magic, Baekhyun suddenly materializes in the stairwell.  He gestures over to him.  “Speaking of, that’s him.”

Baekhyun approaches with raised eyebrows.  “And who’s  _ this  _ lovely lady-friend?” he asks.  

“My d-” Sehun almost says  _ date _ , but the word freezes on his tongue. “Taeyeon,” he says lamely instead.  “I... invited her.”

Baekhyun gives her an elaborate bow that ends with him kissing her hand.  “Well, I’m very pleased to make your acquaintance,” he says.  

Taeyeon takes her hand back, and Sehun thinks she looks a little flustered.  “Same,” is all she says.

Sehun leads her away, then, allowing Baekhyun to do whatever party micromanaging he so thoroughly enjoys before finally getting ridiculously drunk with Chanyeol and the others.  He gently takes her by the hand as they file down the hall onto the back porch, where Jongdae and Yixing have set up a good, clean game of beer pong.

“Oh, my God, I haven’t played this in  _ so long _ ,” Taeyeon says, her eyes going wide as she takes in the cups, the puddles, and the whooping college students.

“Oh, we don’t have to play -- ” Sehun cuts himself off when she approaches Jongdae, and he watches, bewildered, as he steps aside to let her take a shot.  She misses, but Yixing doesn’t, and everyone around the table whoops as she downs the beer in only a few seconds.  It’s nothing like the woman he’d had dinner with a week ago, and, as Sehun watches her goad Baekhyun into joining on Yixing’s side, he wonders if the feeling curling around his heart right now might not be identified as regret.  

At the end of the game, she stumbles over to him, her cheeks high with color.  “You should have played with us!” she says when she reaches him.  She trips over a discarded beer can, and he has to grab onto her arm to make sure she doesn’t fall.  “Instead of sulking in the corner over here, I mean.”

“I’m not sulking,” he lies.

She mock-punches him in the chest.  “Cheer up!  You’re in  _ college _ .”  The slightly unfocused look in her eye makes Sehun wonder just how many drinks her small frame can manage.  “This is supposed to be the best time of your life!”

“Let’s get you some water,” Sehun says.  He puts a gentle hand on her shoulder and tries to steer her in the direction of the kitchen, but she twists out from under his grip and dances away from him, a blurry smile smeared across her face.  

“Have some  _ fun _ !” she says, taking a beer from someone’s proffered hand.  “You’re only twenty-one once.” Sehun doesn’t tell her that he’s actually only nineteen as she takes a swig and heads down the steps to Chanyeol’s ball pit, where a group of classmates had begun a game of chicken.  Sehun lets her go; he isn’t up for playing chaperone tonight.

He goes inside instead, where the sounds of loud music and loud talking mingle together in a kind of haze, and he finds a spot on the living room couch watching people dance to one of Jongdae’s remix tapes.  He isn’t surprised when, a few minutes later, Tao lands next to him.

“Where’s your lady love?” he shouts over the music.

Sehun jerks his head in the direction of the backyard.  “Somewhere over there.”

“Not going well?”

He shrugs.  “I think she’s trying to feel young again.”

Tao’s eyes are fixed at some point behind Sehun when he says, “Oh, I think you’re right about that,” and when Sehun turns around, he sees Taeyeon wrapped around Baekhyun about halfway up the stairs, their faces all but fused together.

“They look like they’re trying to suck the life out of each other,” he says.

“It doesn’t bother you?” Tao asks, surprised.

Sehun watches them, only mildly irritated that his invitation had been wasted.  “ _ I _ wasn’t going to do that with her,” is all he says.

Tao grins, then, looking almost malicious. “You wanted to with Joonmyun, though, right?” he asks.

Sehun rolls his eyes. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

Tao huffs, and looks back to the stairs, watching their president and Sehun’s date thoughtfully. “They’re really going for it, aren’t they?”

They start edging up the stairs, Baekhyun’s hand clearly trying to find purchase on the bra strap along her back.  

Sehun simply says, “Jongin won’t be happy to hear about this.”

**

He doesn’t see Taeyeon again the next day, but he  _ does  _ see Baekhyun at lunchtime.  His shoulders hunch sheepishly when their eyes meet across the table, and after Sehun’s cleaned up his stuff and left, he feels Baekhyun follow him out into the hall.

“Dude, I’m so sorry about last night -- ”

Sehun holds up a hand to stop him.  “It’s fine. I’m not mad.”

Baekhyun’s face relaxes, but his eyebrows are still worried.  “Are you sure?  I broke the  _ bro-code _ , man,” he adds, his voice hushed with shame. 

“It’s really fine.”  Sehun’s hand lands on his shoulder and gives what he hopes is a comforting squeeze.  “I promise. We weren’t very compatible.”

A huge sigh of relief falls out of Baekhyun then.  “I was so  _ worried _ , I swear I didn’t know she was with you - ”

“Baekhyun.  Stop apologizing.  I’m not upset.”

He doesn’t look like he believes him.  “Okay.”

There’s a moment of quiet between the two of them, and sounds of their brothers goofing around in the kitchen drift out to where they’re standing.  They hear Chanyeol’s deep voice saying something about a Beast Mode Squad, and that makes Sehun snort, dissolving whatever awkward tension there had been in the air a few seconds ago.  

Baekhyun lets out an uneasy chuckle, as well.  “You’re sure you’re fine with what happened last night?”

“I  _ promise _ ,” Sehun insists, and then he’s giving his president a friendly push to the shoulder.  “Shouldn’t you be planning some kind of scheme for world domination?  Isn’t that what you do?”

Baekhyun smiles ruefully.  “Fuck off, man.”

**

Tao resists when Sehun tries to convince him to attend Joonmyun’s review session a few days later, and he whines like the big baby he is when Sehun practically drags him by the ear to it.  Joonmyun’s face lights up when he sees them, and Tao gives Sehun a weird look when he lets out a quiet and involuntary laugh.

“You okay?” he mutters.

“I’m fine,” Sehun insists. 

The review session lasts an hour, and it’s incredibly difficult for Sehun to focus on the subject matter when Joonmyun keeps smiling every time they briefly lock eyes.  He’s wearing his bow tie again today, but instead of making him look pretentious like Sehun had thought on his first day of class, he thinks it suits him entirely too well.  His sweater vest isn’t helping, either, making Joonmyun look like a de-aged grandfather.

He thinks he gets most of the material despite all of the distractions, though, and even if he doesn’t, Tao’s notes look thorough enough for the both of them.  As the rest of the class packs up, Sehun ignores Tao, who insists that they should head out, and makes a beeline for Joonmyun’s spot at the front of the room.  “Hey,” he says, and he thinks he sounds perfectly level-headed, if a bit short of breath as Joonmyun’s eyebrows go up in delight.

“You came,” he happily remarks.  He gestures to Tao, who’s still at their desks, his arms crossed petulantly.  “And you brought Tao.”

Sehun nods.  “I brought Tao.” 

“You think you’ll be ready for this?” Joonmyun asks, gesturing to the notes and diagrams still on the whiteboard behind him.  He leans toward Sehun confidentially.  “Dr. Meyer’s letting me write a few questions for the test,” he adds in an undertone.

“That’s awesome,” Sehun says, and he really means it.  Pride dances in Joonmyun’s eyes, and it makes something press up against the bottom of Sehun’s lungs like a balloon. 

Tao clears his throat behind them, and Sehun hastily says goodbye before scurrying back to his friend.  “Fuck  _ off _ ,” he hisses as soon as Tao is within earshot.

“Don’t bring me if you’re just going to make goo-goo eyes at him and flirt the whole time,” Tao sniffs.  

Sehun rolls his eyes.  “Shut up.”

Tao’s eyes widen. “Does he know you had a date with a woman?”

“Seriously!” Sehun whacks at him. “Shut  _ up _ ! He doesn’t.”

Tao gasps. “He won’t appreciate you going behind his back like this..”

“It didn’t even lead to anything,” Sehun says as they leave the classroom. He feels himself relax bodily as soon as they’re no longer sharing a space with Joonmyun. “I’m pretty sure Baekhyun’s seeing her since then, anyway.”

“Still…” Tao furrows his eyebrows considering something. “You  _ could  _ use it… You know. Like, as leverage.”

Sehun levels a look at him. “I’m not going to try to make him jealous. That’s, like, something a twelve year-old would do.”

“Well, I am not above twelve year-old dating tactics,” Tao says.

Sehun gently punches his arm. “You’re idiotic.”

Tao simply sticks his tongue out at him. 


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sehun participates in something against his will, and Joonmyun's vehicle preferences are finally revealed.

The week of midterms goes by in a blur of late nights and too many energy drinks, but Sehun comes out of it relatively unscathed.  The same can’t be said for Tao, who all but collapses as soon as he returns to the house after his last test and comes down with the flu, which he blames on the stress he’s been under for so long.

But the end of midterms doesn’t bring any relief -- Baekhyun’s long-awaited Greek Games finally begin that weekend.

There’s an obnoxious amount of fanfare and a predictable amount of drinking that goes on as people crowd the street to see the first event, which is a beer chugging contest that Chanyeol places second in, just behind the athletic fraternity.  Sehun spends the entire time feeling his insides squirm in anticipation of the wet T-shirt contest Baekhyun strongarmed him into. 

“We need you,” Baekhyun says, gripping him by the shoulders and shaking him slightly. “We need your body.”

Sehun groans and rolls his eyes, but when the next day comes around and Baekhyun presents him with a white T-shirt at breakfast, he reluctantly takes it. 

“Thank you,” Baekhyun says.  “Love you.”

Sehun simply grumbles into the rest of his cereal as Tao sniggers next to him.

When his moment arrives that afternoon, Sehun feels like he’s going to his execution instead of some fun college experience. He feels like he’s heading into a firing squad line up as he gets in front of the participants with their Super Soakers, and Sehun flinches when the ice-cold water hits his chest and stomach.  It takes what feels like forever until he’s completely soaked through, his nipples rock-hard as the dripping shirt clings to where there used to be a six-pack before beer and junk food softened it into a vague afterimage.  It’s fucking uncomfortable, and he shivers in the pre-autumnal air.

He barely pays attention as he’s judged; he’s too busy willing the self-conscious flush away from his cheeks and neck.  He avoids looking at the crowd, too.  He’s already mortified beyond belief, so he doesn’t need to recognize anyone who might be staring at him like this.  As soon as the judges finish announcing their scores, he scurries off of the stage.  He doesn’t even know how he’d done, but he’s guessing from the way Baekhyun proudly claps him on the back that he got a reasonably good score.  All he wants to do is find a change of clothes and dry off and maybe get some form of alcohol in him to reduce the embarrassment buzzing through his head.  He’s pushing through the crowd, hell-bent on getting back to the house when he hears his name being called.

His blood freezes when he turns around and sees Joonmyun shyly waving in his direction.  Tao has an arm draped lazily across his shoulder as they walk toward him, and Sehun would do anything to get that smug look off of his face.

“Sehun!”  Joonmyun’s smile falters the closer he gets as Sehun continues to scowl at Tao.  “I didn’t know you were participating in this.”

He shrugs.  “It wasn’t voluntary.”

“Well…”  Joonmyun swallows nervously before he quirks his eyebrow in an attempt to tease him.  “People certainly liked you.”

“Baekhyun was right about girls digging weedy guys,” Tao quips. 

“Can you… wait here?” Sehun asks Joonmyun.  “I want to change out of this shirt, so just… stay here, and I’ll be back really fast.”  He leaves before Joonmyun can reply, running into the house and up the stairs until he’s finally in the sanctuary of his room.  He slides onto the floor to catch his breath and possibly calm whatever it is that’s fluttering inside him as he thinks about the way Joonmyun’s eyes had kept flicking down to his torso during their brief encounter. He tells himself it was nothing, but that doesn’t stop his heart from thudding painfully in his chest.

**

He finds Joonmyun sitting on the porch steps in front of the house.  Tao is nowhere in sight, and Sehun thanks his lucky stars that that’s the case. 

“He ditch you?” he asks, nudging Joonmyun’s back with his foot.

Joonmyun turns around and smiles when he sees Sehun.  “I let him go, actually,” he says. 

Sehun puts his hands on his hips and purses his lips.  “He invited you here, didn’t he?”

“Well…”  Joonmyun self-consciously rubs the back of his neck.  “Yeah,” he admits.  “He came to my office and asked me to come.  I didn’t know you were, you know, participating…”

“It’s okay.”  Sehun waves a dismissive hand before gesturing vaguely to the side.  “Do you want to go somewhere?”

“You want to leave?”

Sehun shoves his hands into his pockets.  “I mean, if you want…”

“Sure.”  Joonmyun nods and stands up, and Sehun can’t help but laugh at how comically short his position a few steps lower makes him.  Joonmyun frowns, but he takes Sehun’s forearm and leads him to the sidewalk lining the street.  “Let’s go,” he says.

Sehun does his best to ignore the way Joonmyun’s hand sends goosebumps up and down his arm. He’s so focused on pretending he’s unphased by the sudden contact that he doesn’t immediately notice when Joonmyun stops walking. Then, he lets out a really embarrassing snort.

“Wow,” he says, grinning as he takes in the Prius Joonmyun’s in the process of unlocking. “You  _ would _ ,” he says, prompting a black look from Joonmyun.

“Don’t laugh,” he mutters.

The car’s interior is tidy, just as Sehun would have suspected given Joonmyun’s always immaculate appearance, and there’s an air freshener attached to one of the air vents that’s putting out some kind of fresh linen scent. 

“Just out of curiosity,” he says, “how often do you vacuum this thing?  Once a week?”  Another laugh bubbles up as Joonmyun pauses starting the car to give Sehun a peeved look.

“There’s nothing wrong with taking care of your car,” he says.

“So you’re not denying it.”

“ _ No _ , not every week.”  Joonmyun looks away as he twists the keys in the ignition.  “Every month.”

They end up going to a nearby diner that Sehun knows very well through hungover breakfasts and midnight meals with his brothers.  It’s stickier and dingier than he remembers, but the coffee is thick and black and Joonmyun hums in delight as he takes a sip. 

“I didn’t take you for a black coffee kind of person,” Sehun remarks. 

“You get used to it when you don’t have time to make it bearable,” he explains.

“You mean like, working on school stuff?”

Joonmyun nods.  “Even now,” he says.  “Grading papers, writing papers, doing research for my Master’s – I’m exhausted, honestly.” 

Sehun looks down at the table.  “That sounds like a lot of work.” 

“It is, but I don’t really know what else I’d want to do.”

“What are you doing, anyway?” Sehun asks.  “Studying, I mean,” he adds when Joonmyun furrows his brow in confusion.

“Well, to put it broadly, I’m doing psychology,” he says. His mouth twitches with the beginnings of a smile as Sehun purses his lips impatiently.  “But more specifically,” he continues, “I’m studying developmental psychology in children to become a pediatric counselor.”

Sehun frowns. “You mean like a therapist?”

“No.”  Joonmyun’s smile shifts, suddenly a little nervous.  “’Therapist’ sounds too clinical,” he explains.  “I just want to help kids, I guess.”

“No, no, I think it’s nice.”  Sehun shyly studies his menu instead of Joonmyun, who blushes at the compliment.  It’s strangely intimate sitting across from each other like this, and Sehun stems the thought that this could very well resemble a date if he wanted it to.  It certainly  _ feels _ like a date - it feels a lot like his botched date with Taeyeon, except this time, there’s a thrill of excitement hovering just beneath his skin that wasn’t present at the Italian restaurant.  He tries to keep his eyes from lingering too long on the loose neckline of Joonmyun’s T-shirt, on his collar bones peeking out from behind the fabric.  He looks almost softer in this relaxed state, this weekend version of himself that Sehun is seeing for the first time.  Like their bonus session in the library a few weeks ago, Sehun once again notices how petite Joonmyun looks with his hands held awkwardly in his lap, his narrow shoulders hunched self-consciously.  It’s so appealing, and Sehun’s grateful for the table between them that’s preventing him from doing something stupid, like putting an arm around his waist and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

The waitress comes by to take their orders, and as she walks away Joonmyun says, “I know you’re still undeclared, but what do you think you want your major to be?”

Sehun shrugs.  “No idea.”

Joonmyun’s eyebrows nearly reach his hairline in surprise.  “None at all?”

Sehun feels a smile twitch at the corner of his mouth.  “What, you want to counsel me?”

“No…”  Joonmyun looks like he’s fighting off a smile, though.  “I’m just curious.”

Sehun leans back in his seat.  “Try me.”

Joonmyun bites his lip as he studies Sehun, who tries not to squirm under the weight of his gaze.  Finally, he asks, “What interests you?”

Sehun scoffs.  “That’s the best question you can think of?”

“It’s a starting point,” Joonmyun explains. 

Sehun sits back, thinking.  This isn’t really something he’s spent that much time considering, even as the deadline to declare a major is fast approaching.  “I’m not sure,” he admits. 

“What classes have you liked?”

“Principles of Psychology.” 

Joonmyun laughs.  “Please be serious.” 

Sehun shrugs.  “I really don’t know.  Everything is just okay.  Nothing really excites me, you know?”

“There has to be  _ something _ ,” Joonmyun says.

Sehun scrunches his lips to the side.  “I don’t know.”  He looks straight at Joonmyun.  “What do  _ you _ think would excite me?”

Joonmyun’s mouth falls open in surprise as a faint flush creeps across his cheeks.  “Oh, I’m not sure,” he says, looking down at his hands clasped on the table. 

“Come on,” Sehun says.  “Use what you know about me to construct a hypothesis.”

Joonmyun smiles at his hands.  “I don’t know if I can,” he says.

“Just try,” Sehun says. 

Joonmyun purses his lips and risks a peek up at Sehun.  “Okay,” he says.  His eyes narrow almost comically as he considers Sehun, who bites his lip to keep his smile in check.  After a few minutes of deliberation, during which their food arrives, Joonmyun finally says, “Well, I don’t think you’re the type of person to go after something highly technical, like math or one of the sciences – ”

Sehun wrinkles his nose.  “No.”

“ – which rules out psychology,” he adds with a rueful grin that Sehun quickly mirrors.  “But,” he says, “I don’t think you have any creative interests that could allow you to pursue music or art, correct?”

“I used to take guitar lessons,” Sehun deadpans.

“I think what  _ would _ interest you, though, is something that talks about people.” When Sehun quirks a dubious eyebrow, Joonmyun explains, “You seem to prefer observing people rather than actively engaging with them.  Which you’d think would indicate an interest in psychology, but… no offense, but your papers are uninspired enough that I can tell that’s not what you want to do.”

“Thanks,” Sehun mumbles.

“ _ However _ ,” Joonmyun continues, “Something like Communication or Media Studies might actually suit you.”

“Communication?”

Joonmyun nods enthusiastically as he chews the first bite he’s been able to take.  “Yeah,” he says when he swallows. “Like, studying the way people communicate and using it to market something.  Or you could go into the entertainment industry, or journalism… you learn how to engage with any type of media in a critical way, learning how it, well,  _ communicates _ information, whether that be explicit or implicit... or anything, really.  It’s incredibly multi-faceted.”

Sehun blinks. “I can’t believe you just used the word  _ multi-faceted _ ,” he says, and Joonmyun blushes again.

“You’re the one who told me to make a guess,” he says.

Sehun loves the way he embarrassedly picks at his food like a child.  “I’m just teasing you,” he says, and something in his chest swells when Joonmyun looks up at him with wide, innocent eyes.  “Communication doesn’t sound bad.  Maybe I’ll consider it.” 

“Really?”  The thing in his chest constricts when Joonmyun’s face brightens like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. 

“Yeah,” he says, glancing down at his almost-empty plate.  “Really. Putting a liberal arts education to good use.”

“I’m glad,” Joonmyun  saylaughs. 

“It’s kind of weird talking about this kind of stuff,” Sehun admits.  “Like, no one at the house really puts that much thought to it.  Like, half of the senior brothers are all doing Business, and no one else ever talks about it.  Conversation’s always about the next party, or…”  He shrugs.  “Recently, it’s all been about the stupid Greek Games, so anything about school has been at the back of everyone’s minds.”

Joonmyun frowns.  “I thought fraternities were supposed to be pretty strict about academics.”

Sehun scoffs.  “Baekhyun is the president,” he says.  “Winning comes first.”

Joonmyun reluctantly nods.  “I guess I can see that.  He got pretty fired up when there was a decorating competition among the different halls in our building during Halloween,” he says.  “He blamed me for not caring enough when we lost, but I didn’t take it personally.”

“He’s a sore loser,” Sehun agrees.  “He gets pissy enough that sometimes we just let him win to prevent the inevitable shitstorm that would happen otherwise.”

Sehun feels a small bubble of pride well up in his chest when Joonmyun lets out a small laugh.  “Don’t be so bitter,” he says, chuckling despite himself.

“He’s such a fucking baby,” Sehun continues, loving the way Joonmyun is slowly but steadily losing it on the other side of the table.  “It sucks.”

“You are  _ horrible _ ,” Joonmyun gasps, eyes wide with scandal. 

Sehun gives a careless shrug.  “He’s not all that bad,” he admits.  “I guess.”  He purses his lips as he watches Joonmyun contain his laughter, a fond smile itching at the corners of his mouth.

“You know,” Joonmyun says, his voice still fragile with a few leftover chuckles.  “If the house is too noisy, you can come hang out at my apartment to study if you want.”

The bottom of Sehun’s stomach drops away as the words sink in, and suddenly it’s really hard to breathe, the air suddenly stifling as Sehun forgets  _ how _ to breathe.  Joonmyun glances up at him, his eyes wide with nerves, his hesitant smile stuck on his face in a way that makes Sehun feel kind of like he’s choking.  His usually smooth forehead is wrinkled with worry, and it’s all he can do not to lean forward and kiss him, or at least reach for his hand as a hot sweat breaks out on the back of his neck.  He wants to say yes, desperately wants to see if Joonmyun’s living space is as well-groomed as the rest of him, if his roommate is anyone he might need to worry about.  He wants to know if it’s as welcoming as his closet of an office, if it smells as nice as his cologne and the air freshener in his car. 

He forgets how long it’s been since Joonmyun asked the question, and he wonders if time has actually slowed down as Joonmyun continues to hold his gaze and make his insides feel like they’ve turned into mush.  “Wh-why wouldn’t I just go to the library?” he finally asks, and his face heats up as soon as Joonmyun startles with a blush of his own.

“Oh, God, right, there’s the library,” he says, his hands fluttering around his half-finished plate as he looks for a distraction.  “Never mind, I don’t know what I was thinking…”

“I wouldn’t mind!”  Sehun stumbles over his words as Joonmyun continues to struggle picking up his fork.  “The library can get stuffy,” he says, “and people still talk even though they aren’t allowed, and the café by the lobby is really loud, and it’s freezing on the lower floors, like, I swear I turned blue one time last year.” 

Breathing gets easier when a watery smile flits across Joonmyun’s face.  “Yeah?” he says.

“That’s why I quit going last year,” Sehun lies.  “I don’t like it.”

“Okay, but promise me you’ll give it another chance soon,” Joonmyun says, his voice breaking over a small laugh.  “The library is still your friend.”

“Yeah,” Sehun says.  “Yeah, I know.”

“Okay,” Joonmyun says again, and Sehun swears he sounds giddy with relief.  “Just… text me when the house is getting to be too much, and we can set up an appoi– I mean,” he corrects himself, chuckling nervously in a way that makes Sehun feel like he could float. “We’ll figure something out?”

“I get what you mean,” Sehun murmurs, amazed at how Joonmyun seems to glow with happiness that he’s accepted his invitation.  It makes him dizzy.


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sehun takes Joonmyun up on his offer.

He gets a rough greeting from Baekhyun when he gets back, getting grabbed almost as soon as he’s through the front door.   “Where the fuck did you go?” Baekhyun demands.

“Out,” Sehun says, doing his best to shrug Baekhyun off of him.

“You missed the rest of the events!” Baekhyun cries.  “Yixing placed second in the pie eating contest and Tao killed it in the vanity face-off!”

Sehun looks at Baekhyun as if he’s spoken to him in a different language.  “Vanity face-off?”

“I had to stare at myself in a mirror longer than anyone else,” Tao explains from his spot on the couch in the living room.

“I bet that was easy,” Sehun mumbles as Baekhyun finally lets go of him.

“You didn’t even stick around to hear that you’d placed third in the wet T-shirt contest,” he says.

Sehun shrugs.  “I’m sorry,” he insists.  “Something came up.”

“Like what?  What’s more important than this?”  Baekhyun puts his arms out to the side to include the rest of the house in his question.  “What’s better than this?”

“I’m sorry,” Sehun says again.  “I won’t ditch next time.”  He tries to brush past Baekhyun to get to the stairs, but Baekhyun puts a restraining hand on his arm.

“Don’t fucking ditch next time,” he says, and the intensity in his eyes reminds Sehun of a rabid animal.  “Or I’ll fucking haze you again.”

“You can’t do that,” Sehun says, though he isn’t entirely sure that’s true.

“If you want to stay in this fraternity, I can.”  Baekhyun lets go of his arm with more force than necessary.  “Now get out of my sight.”

**

“Dude,” Tao says that night when they’re both in bed.  “Baek was brutal today, huh?”

“Yeah,” Sehun says.  He’s still irked by Baekhyun’s melodramatic questions about his loyalty to the fraternity.  “It was bullshit, though, honestly.”

“You _did_ ditch, though.”

Sehun scoffs.  “Yeah, but I was done with what I needed to do.  He didn’t need to throw a bitch fit just because I didn’t watch you stare at yourself in a mirror.”

“It matters a lot to him,” Tao says.

“So?  That doesn’t mean I have to go crazy about it like he does.”

“It wouldn’t hurt to try to go along with it, though.  He _was_ your big brother.”

“He was a shit big brother,” Sehun says.  “He only cared about fucking with me. He never tried to help me with anything.”

He hears Tao shift under his covers.  “Still,” he says, “you shouldn’t be a dick about it.”

Sehun rolls onto his side so he’s facing the wall instead of his roommate.  “ _He_ shouldn’t be a dick about it,” he mumbles. “I didn’t even do anything wrong.”

**

Though midterms are finally over after that week, there’s still enough classwork getting thrown at Sehun that he finds himself texting Joonmyun sooner than he’d thought.  It doesn’t take as long to formulate his message as it did the first time, and, thankfully, Tao doesn’t intervene, either.  He still waits an inordinate amount of time before sending it, though, lying on his bed and trying out different ways of phrasing it.  He spends more time composing the message than he’d spent on any of the papers he’d turned in to Joonmyun, and he smiles ruefully when he finally presses the ‘send’ button.

Tao walks in a few minutes later when Sehun is staring a hole in his phone, waiting for a response.   “Joonmyun?” he asks.

“He invited me to his apartment,” Sehun says.

Tao’s eyes bug out of his head in shock.  “ _Seriously_?”

“To study,” Sehun clarifies. He gives Tao a pointed look.  “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“So…” Tao says, sitting on the edge of his bed and narrowing his eyes at Sehun in speculation, “Do you think likes to be on top, or bottom?”

“Tao,” Sehun warns.

He leans back on his hands.  “Personally, I think he’s a bottom.  He looks too unassuming to be that dominant in bed, you know?”

“Tao.”

“Plus, he’s small enough that his dick is probably too small to fill you up properly, anyway.”  He laughs as he dodges Sehun’s pillow.  “His ass is probably really tight, too.  He looks like you can do some damage to him.”

“Dude, seriously, if you keep saying shit like that I’m throwing you out the fucking window,” Sehun snaps.  “Shut up.”  Just then, his phone buzzes with a new message.

Tao whistles.  “Right on time,” he says.

Sehun just shoos him away and opens the message: _Of course you can come over! I’m not home right now, but my roommate Minseok can let you in if you’re okay waiting for me to get back :)  What kind of work do you have to do?_

Something solid sinks in his stomach when he finishes reading it, and he scans it a few more times to make sure he’d read it properly.  “What’s wrong?” Tao asks, leaning over Sehun’s shoulder to get a look.

“Nothing,” Sehun mumbles, quickly turning his screen off so Tao can’t see it.

“Are you going over there?”

“Yeah.”  Sehun’s stomach is tying itself in a knot as he starts packing his backpack.  He’s extremely hesitant about this, about meeting Joonmyun’s roommate without Joonmyun to introduce him, about visiting his apartment like some kind of intimate friend.  Joonmyun offered, though, and Sehun _does_ have three papers due next week that he really needs to get started on, so he’s just taking advantage of an opportunity, right?

Tao wishes him luck before he leaves, and he not-so-subtly slips something into Sehun’s pocket as he does so.  When Sehun gets to his car, he isn’t at all surprised to find that it’s a condom.  He rolls his eyes as he tosses it onto the lawn, muttering, “Grow up.”

**

The building Joonmyun lives in looks average enough, and Sehun isn’t expecting to be buzzed in almost immediately – except he is, and he assumes Joonmyun must’ve told his roommate he was coming as he walks through the lobby.  His lips twitch with a smile when he sees the _Welcome_ mat laid out neatly in front of his apartment’s door.  He checks the address Joonmyun had sent one more time before giving a few tentative knocks.  Someone calls out that they’re coming, and a few seconds later, the door opens.

“Oh,” the guy says, his face falling when he sees Sehun.  “You’re not who I was expecting.”

Sehun grips the straps of his backpack and shuffles his feet.  “Sorry,” he says, feeling hot and uncomfortable all over as the stranger – Joonmyun’s roommate – watches him impatiently, as if he’s wasting his time.

“What,” he finally says.  “Who are you?”

Sehun clears his throat.  “Joonmyun invited me?” he says, afraid to look him in the eye.  “To work on some stuff?”

The roommate’s mouth falls open in realization.  “Oh,” he says. “Okay. You’re... Joonmyun’s… friend.”  His eyes do a once-over as he reconsiders Sehun’s appearance.

“Yeah…”  Sehun tries to swallow the lump of nerves in his throat as he peeks up at him.  “I could say the same for you?”

His eyebrows twist with confusion. “Sure.”

“Can I at least come in?”

He hums thoughtfully for a few seconds.  Sehun’s sweating at this point, his jacket suddenly too hot as he desperately squashes any urges to just leave and never come back.  “Sure,” he finally says, opening the door wider.

Sehun lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.  “I’m Sehun, by the way,” he says after bowing in through the doorway.

“Minseok.”

They stand awkwardly in the entry after that, neither of them quite certain of what to do.  It’s almost worse than it had been facing each other in the doorway, but Sehun’s just glad he hadn’t been turned away.

“So…”  Minseok doesn’t look much older than Sehun, but his eyes have a certain awareness in them that belie his age.  If Joonmyun is warm and inviting, Minseok seems cool and shrewd.  He dresses more appropriately for his age, too, wearing a denim jacket over a T-shirt advertising some band or another.  His hair is styled off of his forehead rather than swooping across, and there aren’t any laughter lines punctuating the corners of his eyes like those around Joonmyun’s.  “Do you want something to eat?  Drink?”  He edges uncertainly into the kitchen.

“Um.”  Sehun adjusts his grip on his backpack.  “I’m okay, thanks.”

Minseok puts a hand on the edge of the counter and leans into it, his other hand going to his hip.  “I’m not good with children,” he says.  “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not a child,” Sehun says.

Minseok purses his lips again.  “Yeah, okay.”  He sighs loudly before Sehun has a chance to respond, brushing past him to go deeper into the apartment.  “Listen,” he says, pausing at the mouth of the hallway.  “I’m supposed to be going somewhere soon, so I can’t babysit you.  Joonmyun should be home in an hour or two, so just…”  He waves in the direction of the kitchen table.  “Make yourself at home, I don’t really care.”

He leaves Sehun alone then, apparently to finish getting ready.  Sehun hesitates a few seconds longer before slowly making his way over to the kitchen, as if he’s going to set off an alarm if he goes too fast.  He looks around after he sets his backpack down, and he finds himself pleased at how neat everything is.  The décor is minimal and the color palette neutral, but Sehun can pick out Joonmyun’s touch in the throw blanket folded over the back of the couch, the slippers hiding under the coffee table, and the candles placed strategically around the room.  He smiles when he sees the stack of psychology books on one of the end tables, and it’s way too easy imagining Joonmyun with a mug of coffee on the couch as he works on one of his grad assignments.  

He’s booting up his laptop when Minseok re-emerges.  “Are you going to like, be okay on your own?” he asks as he slides his wallet into his back pocket.

Sehun nods.  “I’m surprised you don’t think I’m going to burn the place down if you leave.”

“Actually, I do,” Minseok says matter-of-factly.  “But Joonmyun thought it was okay to invite you, even though his judgment on this kind of stuff honestly can’t be trusted.”  He shrugs.  “But whatever. What do I know?”

“What do you mean?”

He makes a non-committal noise.  “It’s just… Joonmyun, you know?  He’s optimistic.  Like, he thought it was totally normal for you to come over even though he isn’t home and I’ve never met you.”

Sehun can’t help but laugh.  “True.”

Minseok smiles.  “It’s part of his charm, I’ll give him that.”

“Yeah.”  The buzzer goes off, then, and Sehun watches as Minseok hurries to it and quickly buzzes whoever it is in.

“My date’s here,” he explains when he turns back to Sehun.  “I’m ditching you now.”

“That’s fine,” Sehun says, logging into his computer.  “I won’t touch anything, don’t worry.”

Minseok shrugs.  “Nah, Joonmyun likes you, you’re okay.”

Sehun’s mouth goes dry.  “He – he said that?”

“Yeah.”  Minseok looks like he’s trying not to smile as Sehun desperately fights off the warmth threatening to flood his body.  “He likes you a lot.”

They’re interrupted by a knock on the door, and Minseok’s date turns out to be a sprightly young man with beautiful doe eyes.  “Who’s this?” he asks when he sees Sehun sitting awkwardly at the table.  He turns to Minseok with a teasing smile.  “Is this your mistress?”

Minseok rolls his eyes even as an indulgent smile stretches his lips.  “It’s Joonmyun’s kid,” he explains.

“I’m not a kid,” Sehun repeats.

“Hi!”  Minseok’s date waves.  “I’m Luhan.”

Sehun lifts a hand up in a halfhearted wave of his own.  “Sehun.”

A moment passes where Luhan’s just looking at Sehun, considering him, and then it’s like something clicks in his head, because his eyes go wide just as his mouth drops open, and he turns again to Minseok, exclaiming “He’s Joonmyun’s -- ” But then Minseok quickly shakes his head and raises his eyebrows in a pointed look. Luhan trails off, his mouth ending up in a small, confused ‘o’.

“Well, don’t let me keep you from, you know, doing your thing,” Sehun says, eager for them to leave so he can properly process what Luhan had said on his own.

“Yeah.  Okay.”  Minseok puts a guiding hand on Luhan’s arm.  “I’ll… see you some other time, I guess…”

“It was nice meeting you.”  Luhan waves again as Minseok drags him out the door, and Sehun lets out a huge sigh of relief when it closes behind them.

The apartment is eerily quiet with Sehun by himself, and he’s suddenly a lot more nervous than he had been with Minseok around.  He jumps when he hears the A/C click on, quickly chastising himself for being so quick to startle.  It’s just Joonmyun’s apartment, he tells himself, opening his laptop’s word processor to start one of his papers.  He only gets past adjusting the header, though, when he realizes the fact that he _is_ by himself in Joonmyun’s apartment.

Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s up and opening all of the cabinets in the kitchen, seeing what kind of food Joonmyun keeps.  It’s mostly ramen and cereal, and Sehun wonders how the hell Joonmyun manages to stay so scrawny.  He does like the kind of plates and bowls he has, though, admiring the simple geometric designs when he finds them.  The pots and pans are organized almost _too_ well, but the Tupperware cabinet has a few pieces left askew, revealing that Joonmyun is, in fact, just as human as Sehun, and Sehun smiles at the thought.

He studies the books in the living room, crouching next to the bookcase, unsurprised to find the majority of the titles long and scientific.  There are a few novels, but none of them are titles that Sehun recognizes.  He takes one out that’s part of the _Game of Thrones_ series and flips through it and of _course_ Joonmyun reads shit like this, Sehun thinks. Of course.

There are movies, too, and Sehun snorts when he sees _The Devil Wears Prada_ nestled among all of the serious dramas.  He moves on to find a basket of knitting hidden between the bookcase and the wall, and he knows without a doubt that it’s Joonmyun’s and not Minseok’s.  There’s no way it can’t be, with bow ties and sweater vests in his wardrobe and a Prius as his mode of transportation.  Sehun chuckles as he slides the basket back into its hiding place, his smile perhaps a little too fond.

For a brief moment he considers tip toeing into Joonmyun’s room, but he stops himself as he peeks in from the hallway.  He sees a neatly made bed and even more books, but it’s too private a space and Sehun feels a surge of guilt as he thinks about all the snooping he’s already done.  He knows Joonmyun hadn’t even considered the idea that Sehun might do this, that Joonmyun must trust him a lot to invite him over while he was out.  Sheepish, he goes back to his laptop and his homework and tries to forget everything he saw.

**

Sehun’s nearly finished one of his papers when he hears keys jamming into the lock on the door, and he looks up in time to see Joonmyun burst through, his satchel almost falling off as he shuts the door behind him.  “Sehun!” he says, grinning giddily when he sees Sehun watching from the table.  “You came!”

“Yeah…”  He watches Joonmyun dump his satchel over the back of the couch and pop the top button on his shirt at the same time, and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t kind of ridiculously hot.  He goes into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge before sitting across from Sehun.   

“How’s it been?” he asks, taking a sip.  “Was Minseok nice to you?  I know he can be a bit grumpy sometimes, but I promise, he’s all bark and no bite.”

“No, he was fine,” Sehun hurries to say.  “He seems cool.”

Joonmyun nods.  “That’s good.”

“Were you working?” Sehun asks.  Joonmyun looks at him with his cheeks puffed out with water, and Sehun’s heart thuds with fondness.  He feels simultaneously uncomfortable and exhilarated seeing Joonmyun in this environment, as relaxed and as unprofessional as he’s ever seen him.  It’s way too easy picturing this kind of situation happening every day, and Sehun immediately blinks those thoughts away.

“I had one of my master’s seminars today,” Joonmyun explains.  “Theories of Personality.”

“Oh,” Sehun says.  “Cool.”

“It is,” Joonmyun agrees.  “A lot of reading involved to prepare for class, but that’s to be expected.”  He smiles good-naturedly.  “What about you?  How’s your homework?”

Sehun looks at his four-page paper that suddenly seems inadequate.  “I’m almost done,” he says.

“Then I won’t keep you a second longer,” he says, patting the table as he gets up.

“Where are you going?” Sehun blurts when he takes a step into the rest of the apartment.

“I’m just going to change,” Joonmyun says, hooking a thumb in the direction of his room.  “I won’t be gone for long.”

Sehun relaxes.  “Okay.”

When Joonmyun comes back with his button down replaced with a T-shirt, Sehun lies about having his paper finished so he can try not to stare as Joonmyun sits at the table again and pulls his knees up to his chest like a child, his heels resting on the edge of the seat.  He looks tiny like that, and Sehun can feel something like tenderness swelling in his chest as they quietly consider each other.

“You know,” Joonmyun finally says, picking at the edge of the table with a fingernail, “You’re very different from how I thought you would be when we first met.”

“Y-yeah?” It’s suddenly difficult to breathe as he peeks up at Sehun to gauge his reaction.

A small smile pulls on the corner of Joonmyun’s mouth.  “You seemed really full of yourself,” he says.

“Oh, thanks,” Sehun deadpans.

“But now you don’t,” Joonmyun continues.  “You’re actually pretty mature for your age.”  He shakes his head and blinks, as if to clear his head.  “But anyway, I’m just… happy that you turned out to not be a dick like I’d thought.  That’s all.”

Sehun raises his eyebrows in mock surprise.  “You _don’t_ think I’m a dick?”

Joonmyun grins.  “Am I stupid?”

Sehun purses his lips.  “No, you’re smart.”  There’s a pause in the conversation as they just smile at each other like idiots, but then Sehun changes the subject.  “You have a nice apartment.”

“Oh?”  Joonmyun looks around.  “Isn’t it a bit plain, though?”

Sehun slouches further into his seat.  “I think it’s comfortable.”

“Really?  You don’t think it’s boring?”

“Well, the art prints on the walls aren’t exactly the most thrilling,” Sehun admits, “But I wouldn’t call it _boring_.”

“Aren’t _I_ kind of boring, though?” Joonmyun asks, turning to Sehun with a self-deprecating laugh.

Sehun frowns.  “What do you mean?”

“Well… I’m a grad student with my whole future planned out,” Joonmyun explains.  “I dress like an old man, I have an average taste in music, and the only people who call me handsome are my mother and other women her age or older.”

“Your questionable fashion taste is interesting, though,” Sehun says.

“Yeah?”

Sehun nods.  “And I think it’s really cool that you know what you want to do,” he continues.  “You have something to be passionate about, it’s really awesome.”

“Thanks.”  Joonmyun blushes an incredibly appealing shade of pink as he smiles down at the table.

“But, I mean,” Sehun continues, his mouth going faster than his brain, “If you’re looking for a radical change, you could always do something with your hair.”

“What?”

“I-I mean,” Sehun stammers, heat rushing to his face as he realizes how stupid he probably just sounded, “Well, I did the whole, you know, bleaching thing right before my freshman year started to, like, start out totally new, and I was just… remembering that.”  His heart is in his throat as Joonmyun listens in utter confusion.  “You totally don’t have to, I don’t even know if I was even suggesting it for you, but you said you thought you were boring, and it just came out of my mouth before I even realized what I was saying…”

“I can’t do that,” Joonmyun says.  “I’m too old.”

Sehun shakes his head.  “Twenty-four isn’t old.”

“I’m a TA, finishing my Master’s, no one will take me seriously – ”

“You should do it,” Sehun says, all of his embarrassment gone as he starts to change his mind.  “Just be spontaneous.  It’ll be good for your mental health.”

“Uh, I think I’ll suffer from being so self-conscious about it,” Joonmyun counters.  “I don’t know if I have the confidence to pull something like that off.”

“I think it would suit you,” Sehun says.

“You do?”  Joonmyun’s flattered pink again, and Sehun wishes he could capture how lovely his face looks when he’s so caught off-guard.

“I do.”

“Maybe,” Joonmyun concedes.  “I don’t know.”

“I think you should do it,” Sehun says again as he checks the time on his phone; it’s getting late, and Sehun can’t help the disappointment suddenly weighing down his gut.

“Stay for dinner,” Joonmyun says, startling him.  “Minseok should be back soon, and we could use the company.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course,” he says with a nod and a warm smile that makes Sehun’s stomach feel like it’s melting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hands up if you miss the good ol' days of Xiuhan!! Is it too obvious that this was written around Overdose era?


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sehun admits a truth to himself.

Minseok and Luhan return within the hour with takeout, and neither seem surprised to see Sehun still hanging around.  They share a knowing look,  which leaves Sehun feeling mildly uneasy.

Still, Sehun helps Joonmyun set the table, pins and needles in his neck as he feels Minseok still watching and judging from the counter.  By the time they’re all sitting down, plates heaped with rice and Mongolian stir-fry, Sehun almost wishes he had declined Joonmyun’s offer to stay, but then he catches Joonmyun giving him a cautious smile and most of his embarrassment dissolves into a warm feeling just under his lungs.

“So, Sehun,” Minseok says, his eyes sharp and scrutinizing on the other side of the table, “How is Joonmyun in class? He never wants to tell me anything about it.”

“Oh, um…”  Sehun glances at Joonmyun, who’s looking at his food like he’s expecting the worst.  “He’s good. No, well, he’s great. He writes a lot of suggestions on my papers when he grades them, which is nice.”

“Minseok also works as a TA,” Joonmyun informs him. He looks like he’s trying to suppress a smile. “He’s just competitive.”

Minseok scoffs.  “No, I’m not.  I’m curious about what one of your students has to say about you.”

“He’s a year ahead of me,” Joonmyun continues to Sehun, “So he keeps acting like he thinks he needs to help me, which he _doesn’t_.”  He leans into the table to shoot Minseok a pointed look.  “I’m doing just fine on my own.”

Sehun tries to change the subject as Minseok draws a breath for his rebuttal.  “How...  How did you and Luhan meet?” he asks. “Can I ask that?”

Luhan immediately brightens up, and Sehun knows he’s done something right.  His sense of accomplishment waivers, though, when Minseok gives a put-upon sigh.

“We actually started out as pen pals,” Luhan explains with sparkling eyes.  “I grew up in China, he grew up here, and we met through a correspondence program our schools tried to start up.”

“None of the students really gave a shit about it,” Minseok says, “so it fell through after, like, two months.  But Luhan and I kept writing to each other – ”

“This was in middle school,” Luhan supplies.

“ – and after we finished high school, Luhan joined an exchange program to study at the same university as me, and…”  He shrugs with a small smile that belies his rather sardonic tone.  “He never went back.”

“That’s… quite nice.”

“Baozi doesn’t like to get sentimental about it,” Luhan says, putting a gentle hand on Minseok’s forearm that’s resting on the table.  “But I’m not going to lie, it was pretty romantic.”

“Don’t call me that in front of them,” Sehun hears Minseok mutter under his breath.  “It’s embarrassing.”

“One of Sehun’s brothers in his fraternity is an exchange student from China,” Joonmyun pipes up.  He turns to Sehun.  “Right?”

Sehun nods.  “I don’t remember what part he’s from, but yeah.”

Luhan’s eyes light up, and Sehun isn’t sure how much more excitement he can take before he might faint.  “Really?”

“Yeah…”  Sehun pokes at his food as he avoids making eye contact.  “He’s alright.”

Joonmyun’s foot suddenly nudges his under the table, and Sehun all but jumps right out of his skin.  “He’s one of your best friends, though, right?” he asks.

“Y-yeah.”  Sehun clears his throat, suddenly way too warm.  “He’s my roommate, yeah.”

Joonmyun’s foot innocently bumps his again, and this time it stays there, a comfortable presence that makes Sehun feel both at ease and entirely on-edge at the same time.  He doesn’t move it for the rest of the meal, and it’s really difficult for Sehun to pay attention to the conversation when all of his nerves are singing about the pressure against his foot.  He lets out a small sigh of relief when Joonmyun finally gets up to clear the table, but the moment of peace is short-lived when he catches Minseok watching him carefully.  He quickly gets up to follow Joonmyun into the kitchen, almost tripping in his haste to get away.

He leans against the counter and watches Joonmyun at the sink.  His hands look delicate as they handle the dishes, and the way he has his head bent in concentration only makes him more endearing.  It’s stupid, Sehun thinks, how fond he feels when Joonmyun is doing something so mundane.

Neither of them speak until Joonmyun finishes, finally looking at Sehun as he dries his hands.  “You probably have to go, huh?” he says with a rueful smile.

“Sorry,” Sehun says. Thinking about the noise and pandemonium he’s likely to encounter at home, he wishes he could stay in this safe, neutral-toned place.

Joonmyun sighs and shifts his weight from foot to foot, like he’s considering something before speaking.  “I’ll… see you in class, I guess?”

Sehun doesn’t know why he feels so disappointed, but he nods anyway.  “Of course.”

“You’ve stopped skipping so much,” Joonmyun says.  “I’ve noticed.”

Sehun scuffs his foot against the floor.  “It’s not a big deal,” he mumbles.

Joonmyun guides him to the door, where he pauses with his hand on the knob.  “You’ll be okay going back by yourself?”

“I’m not five,” Sehun snaps, and he cringes at how much he sounds like a teenager.  Luckily, Joonmyun just laughs.

“This was nice,” he says, smiling up at Sehun and looking so tiny as he does so.  “Let’s do it again soon, yeah?”

Sehun has to bite his lip as he resists the urge to bend down and finally find out how Joonmyun’s lips taste.  It’s so hard with him shining and insecure at the same time like this, with him so close in the narrow entryway that his cologne mixed with the vestiges of their dinner is intoxicating , his bitten-pink lips the most inviting thing Sehun thinks he’s ever seen.  He wants to know how his hair feels between his fingers, if it’s as soft as it looks, if Joonmyun’s eyes might flutter closed in pleasure.  He wants to kiss the freckle resting between his upper lip and his nose, to kiss every spot he’s able to find, but Minseok’s and Luhan’s voices in the living room keep his arms frozen at his side.

“Well, bye,” he says.

Joonmyun reaches towards him, and Sehun stops breathing, his arms itching to reciprocate – until the door begins to swing open behind him. _Right_.

“Drive safe,” Joonmyun says.

Sehun only nods tightly. He doesn’t trust himself to speak anymore.

**

He’s supposed to meet up with Jongin a few days later at the coffee shop in front of the library, but Jongin shows up late, blaming his Chem lab for running too long as he plops down in the seat across from Sehun.

“Whatever,” Sehun sniffs, looking down at his already half-finished coffee.  “It’s not like I have stuff to do, too.”

“You’re the one who said we should do this,” Jongin snaps.

Sehun takes a deep breath and tilts his head back.  “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Is it your TA?”  Jongin asks.

He lets his breath out in a heavy sigh as his head falls back down to level a very serious look across the table.  “Yes.”

“Okay…”

Sehun starts to fidget, suddenly unsure.  “It’s just… I can’t talk to Tao about it because he’s a fucking dick, and, like, you don’t really know everything that’s gone on, and –”

“Sehun,” Jongin says, leaning in close to show that he’s listening.  “Just spit it out.”

Sehun purses his lips and focuses his eyes on his drink.  “I think…”  He swallows a bundle of nerves making his throat feel swollen.  “I think I might be gay,” he says.  “Or maybe bisexual. I don’t really know, actually, I’ve read so many different things about how sexuality works on the Internet, how it’s a spectrum and shit, but – ” He stops for a second, reigning his thoughts back in. “I’m gay for this guy, at least. As far as potentially being full-on gay goes”

“Dude, chill,”  Jongin says.  “It’s fine. Your TA sounds like a nice guy.”

“His name is Joonmyun,” Sehun blurts, and he feels his face heat up when he realizes how fond his voice had sounded, like it relished each syllable of Joonmyun’s name that came out of his mouth.

“He’s Korean?”

“Well, so are we,” Sehun retorts.

“I didn’t mean it like it was a bad thing!”  Jongin holds his hands up defensively.  “God, be a bigger baby, why don’t you.”

Sehun slouches sulkily.  “Like, a few days ago, I hung out at his place –”

“You _what_?”

Sehun glares at him.  “It’s not like we did anything,” he snaps.  “Fuck.”

“Well, I mean, it’s not like I – it just caught me off guard, okay?  You don’t usually do stuff like that.”

Sehun lets out a fussy breath.  “I know, and that’s why it’s so fucking weird.  Like, I did homework there, and then we ate dinner, and then he was like, offering to drive me home and –”

“Did he kiss you?”

“ _I_ almost kissed _him_ ,” Sehun says, and Jongin’s already wide eyes grow wider.  Sehun throws his head back in frustration.  “It was just… I _really_ like him,” he says.  “Like, a lot.”

“Well… doesn’t he like you, too?” Jongin asks.  “I mean, he invited you to his place.”

Sehun shifts in his seat so he’s sitting normally, his foot tapping restlessly.  “I don’t even fucking know,” he says.  “One minute, he’s looking at me like he wants to kiss me, too, and then the next, he’s acting like a cross between a mom and an older brother, and it’s so confusing.  But apparently I’m bleaching his hair soon –”

“ _Why_?”

“Because he said he was boring?  And I’m stupid?”

Jongin’s mouth is hanging open in shock.  “Are you really going to do it?”

“I don’t know!”  Sehun takes a deep breath to calm down.  “I just… feel like I’m going to do something really stupid very soon, and it’s going to ruin everything,” he says.  “I’m going to find some way to fuck this up because I always do, and Joonmyun is going to hate me forever, and I’m going to be miserable for a very long time.”

“Don’t be so melodramatic.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Sehun admits.  “This… _thing_ , whatever it is –”

Jongin looks at him with something not unlike piety. “It’s a crush.”

“Well, this _crush_ is overwhelming me,” Sehun says.  “ _He_ is overwhelming me.  Like, honestly, I don’t trust myself to not be a total idiot the next time I’m alone with him.”

“You’re going to be fine,” Jongin promises.  “Trust me.”

Sehun runs a hand through his hair with a sigh.  He really hopes Jongin is right.

**

The house is startlingly quiet when Sehun returns.  He finds them all in the backyard, lined up in their swimsuits as Baekhyun walks down the line like an official, inspecting everyone’s bodies.  He hears him muttering things like, “More abs,” and “Less beer” as he pokes each brother in the stomach, like he’s performing some sort of test.

“Uh.”  Sehun doesn’t know what to do as he stands on the porch.  “What’s going on?”

Baekhyun whirls around.  “Take off your shirt,” he says.

“What?”

He comes closer.  “Take off your shirt,” he repeats.  “It’s inspection time.”

Sehun tries to lean away as much as he can without causing offence.  “For what, though?”

Baekhyun turns to the line of brothers in front of him.  “The final and most important event of the Greek Games, the fundraiser, is almost upon us,” he announces.  “And, thanks to little Sehunnie here, we’re washing cars.  We need to look _hot_ ,” he says, punctuating the last word by punching his palm.  “We need to look _hot_ , and _fun_ , and we need to attract as many people as we can so we can win the fuck out of these Games.  We are in fucking third place behind Alpha Zeta and Omega Beta.  We can fucking do this, alright?”  He points to all of the brothers assembled before him.  “And if we _do_ end up attracting a bunch of gay guys like Tao keeps saying, I _will_ encourage you to be gay with them.  Fuck, I will _demand_  it.”

“I’m not sucking a dick,” someone says.

“You _will_ suck a dick if it means we’ll win,” Baekhyun says.  He turns to Sehun.  “Now go upstairs, and put on your nicest pair of swim trunks, alright?  You did well enough with a wet T-shirt, let’s see how you rock a suit.”

**

With the fundraiser at the end of the week, Baekhyun subjects the house to a practically totalitarian schedule of preparation.  He sets up a schedule for everyone to spend time at the gym, but Sehun really doubts a week’s worth of last-minute weights is going to make any noticeable difference.  He keeps it to himself, though, fully aware of the potential of Baekhyun’s wrath.  He works out, attends meetings, and even participates in making posters to advertise their business.  They look pitiful when he and Yixing finish, but Baekhyun claps them on the back nonetheless.  “As long as we get our name out,” he says, eyeing the crooked letters and questionably-drawn stick figures.  “And as long as we’re all hot enough that people ignore this shitty poster.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Tao calls out from the other room.  “I’m hot enough for all of us.”

It isn’t as bad as Sehun had imagined it would be.  He’d been expecting Baekhyun’s usual insufferable behavior magnified by a factor of excruciating, but he’s surprisingly level-headed as the days tick by, the only sign of his mounting stress a kind of manic twitch in his right eye.  The other brothers handle it well, too – Yixing leads a group meditation every morning before classes start; Jongdae’s made several playlists for varying purposes, from pumping everyone up to helping them all forget the inevitable catastrophic meltdown Baekhyun will have if they lose; and Chanyeol has been spouting countless positive maxims that Sehun thinks are meant to inspire everyone to do their best.  Sehun doesn’t know if the whole house has gone crazy or if they’re actually ready to kick some ass, but there’s definitely a sense of impending doom lingering around the house as their deadline fast approaches.

Sehun also keeps an eye on Joonmyun during class.  He gets a hesitant smile from him on Monday, exchanges a few words with him on Tuesday, and on Wednesday, he catches him staring, which results in both of them turning to their notes with heated faces.

Thursday, though, Joonmyun actually arrives just as class is beginning, which is grievously late by his standards.  He looks tired and drawn as Sehun watches him unpack his notes from his bag and apologize to the professor, who waves it away with a kind expression.  Sehun ignores the entire lecture that day.  Joonmyun’s shirt is untucked, his sweater looks like he’d just pulled it on five minutes ago, and his hair is in disarray, as if he’d forgotten to comb it.  He looks frazzled, and it takes every ounce of Sehun’s self-control not to approach his desk as soon as the professor calls time.  Instead, he gathers up his things and mumbles to Tao that they should get going.

On Friday, Joonmyun’s appearance is back to normal, but Sehun still notices the bags under his eyes and the doleful sighs constantly coming out of him.  This time, when class ends, he quickly taps out a text asking if he’s okay.

 _I’m fine,_ Joonmyun sends back.   _Don’t worry about me :)_

“Yeah,” Tao says after reading over Sehun’s shoulder.  “The stupid fundraiser is tomorrow.  You have bigger things to worry about.”

“So do you if Baek hears you calling the fundraiser stupid,” Sehun says.

“Seriously, though, “Tao says.  “Maybe his parakeet just died or something.  I doubt it’s a big deal.”

“He doesn’t have a parakeet,” Sehun snaps.

Tao holds his hands up, offended.  “Well, _excuse me_ ,” he says. “ _I_ haven’t been to his _house_ recently.”

“God, you’re such a _dick_.”  Sehun leaves Tao for the building his next class is in without another word.

“At least I’m not thirsting after one,” Tao calls after him.


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sehun does two things, both of which are very brave and very stupid.

Sehun expects it to be utter chaos when he comes back to the house after his last class, so he’s surprised when no one is running around and yelling when he comes in.  Someone has the TV on Animal Planet, someone is cooking a bunch of meat in the kitchen, and someone, somewhere, is watching porn without headphones. 

He finds Baekhyun on the back porch contemplating the empty inflatable pool, his hands steepled against his lips like some sort of imitation of  _ The Godfather _ . 

“Sehun Oh,” Baekhyun says, beckoning Sehun over.  “My little bro.  Come here.”

Sehun edges closer until Baekhyun pulls him into a one-armed hugged.  “I think someone’s watching bukkake in the house,” he says.

Baekhyun chuckles. He lets go of Sehun and turns back to the pool, reminding Sehun of the night Joonmyun had been here and gotten completely wasted. 

“Tomorrow is our golden opportunity,” Baekhyun says, bringing Sehun out of his reverie of shining eyes and shy smiles.  “It’s make or break time.  It’s what will decide my legacy as president of this fraternity.”

Sehun leans against the railing next to him.  “You’re a great president,” he says. 

“I want to go down in the books as one of the best, though,” Baekhyun says.  “I want to be like, the Abraham Lincoln of Epsilon Chi.  Baekhyun Byun, the president that won us the Greek Games and got us a year’s worth of fucking fantastic parties. Not Baekhyun, that one guy who was pretty cool and got us this trash inflatable pool.”

“It was a good investment,” Sehun offers. “We’ve gotten a lot of use out of it.”

Baekhyun lets his head droop as he sighs.  “I’m so fucking nervous,” he says.  “We’re in third place, and it’s not like we can top whatever the fuck it is Alpha Zeta is planning.”  He turns to Sehun with genuine fear in his eyes.  “I heard they made dildos out of molds they made of their dicks.  They’re selling their  _ dicks _ .”

“That’s kind of disgusting.”

“No, it’s  _ brilliant _ ,” Baekhyun says.  “All we’re selling is manual labor and Yixing’s sentient nipples.”

Sehun snorts.  “They’re not  _ that _ bad.”

“They’re fucking terrifying.”

“I think… as long as everyone has fun, no one’s going to blame you if we don’t do well,” Sehun says.  “We all like you.”

“Yeah, okay, and then we’ll all gather back here and sing  _ Kumbaya _ like we’re at fucking camp,” Baekhyun snaps.

“I’m just  _ saying _ ,” Sehun says.  “You’re the only one who’s shitting himself over this.  Like, only Chanyeol is mildly worried about it.  Everyone else just wants an excuse to act gay.” 

“You really know how to fire a guy up, huh,” Baekhyun deadpans.

Sehun shrugs.  “Just be chill about it, man.  That’s all.”

Baekhyun nods.  “I will be chill about it,” he says.  “I’m gonna be so fucking chill about it.” 

It isn’t that convincing, but Sehun nods anyway out of pity.  They’re so screwed.

**

Everything blurs together the next day as everyone rushes to put the finishing touches on everything they’ve prepared.  Sehun can hear Baekhyun screaming at people to get their shit the fuck together downstairs several hours before they’re supposed to start, and it’s enough to turn him into a shut-in until Tao warns him about staying away for too long.

Sehun feels overdressed when he goes downstairs and finds most of his brothers already in their trunks.  There’s a line of them applying sunscreen to each other’s backs, and another group is trying to distribute posters among the pledges.  Chanyeol is force-feeding Baekhyun in the kitchen doorway, shoving bacon into his mouth with a stern expression.  Sehun hears Jongdae yell for Yixing to put his joint out from the direction of the bathroom, and he hears Yixing’s monotone, “Aw, man, why are you doing this,” as Jongdae probably tosses the thing into the toilet.

“I love the smell of chaos in the afternoon,” Tao says from next to Sehun.

“It’s ‘morning,’ not ‘afternoon,’” Sehun says.

“Yeah, I know,” Tao says. “I was just quoting that Vietnam movie. You know, ‘I love the smell of napalm -- ”

“No, you idiot, it’s ‘I love the smell of napalm  _ in the morning _ .’ I’m not talking about what  _ time _ it is.”

Tao looks at him, a little insulted. “You don’t have to be so mean about it.”

In the remaining hour they have, Tao makes Sehun rub enough sunscreen on his back for two people, but Tao insists because “Do you know the rates of melanoma for men?  They’re so high because we’re shirtless all the time.  I can’t have that happen to me.”  It makes Sehun roll his eyes, but if he doesn’t do it Tao will only complain, so he simply squirts more of it out of the bottle.  He keeps his mouth shut about Tao’s swim trunks, as well, not wanting to know why he felt a need to have the American flag stretched across his crotch; he isn’t even a citizen.

His phone buzzes while he still has SPF 50 covering his hands.  When he finally checks it a few minutes later after visiting the bathroom, his heart gives a heavy thud.

“Dude, what is it?” Tao asks, rubbing more sunscreen onto his chest.  “You need to get changed.”

Sehun reads Joonmyun’s message one more time:  _ Can you please come over?  I need to see you. _

“Dude,” Tao says, pushing Sehun’s shoulder to get his attention. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll get changed in a minute,” Sehun says, waving him away.  He quickly taps back a reply:  _ Be there as soon as I can, have to escape the bros _ .

Joonmyun is quick.   _ Pick up a bleach kit on your way?  I’ll pay you back… _

**

It’s almost impossible getting away with Baekhyun running on a combination of pure adrenaline and about three hastily-chugged cans of Red Bull, but somehow Sehun manages to slip by as the first customers start rolling in.  He waits a minute when he’s finally in his car to calm down, but then he hears Joonmyun’s voice saying  _ I need to see you _ in his head and his heart rate picks up once again.  With a deep breath, he puts the car into gear and takes off.

**

“I’m so sorry,” Joonmyun says before he’s even finished opening the door to let Sehun in.  “I know this is really last-minute, you were probably in the middle of something and I just asked you to drop everything and come over – ”

“It’s okay,” Sehun says.  He holds up a bag of fast food in one hand.  “I brought lunch.  My treat.”

Joonmyun gives him a watery smile.  “Thank you.”

They sit at the coffee table, and Joonmyun puts one of the 24-hour news networks on the TV.  They’re mostly quiet while they eat, both hesitant to break the nervous tension stretched between them.

“So…”  Sehun says after Joonmyun’s balled everything up in the bag it had come in, “Why did you need to see me?”

Joonmyun leans back into the couch, almost wilting.  “I...”  He sighs and runs his hands over his face.  “I’m being so selfish right now, I can’t believe I actually made you come over – ”

“It’s okay,” Sehun says again, giving Joonmyun a comforting nudge to the knee. 

Joonmyun lets his head fall back with a sigh, and he speaks to the ceiling.  “It’s just… I met up with my ex?  It’s been almost three years since we broke up, but I got a text asking if I wanted to get coffee and catch up, and like an idiot I said yes, and it just… reminded me of a lot of bad things, I guess.”  He lolls his head to the side to look over at Sehun.  “This is really stupid, isn’t it?”

Sehun shakes his head.  “I don’t think so.”

Joonmyun turns back to the ceiling.  “It’s not like anything was said that like, triggered anything, though.  Our relationship became pretty toxic before we broke up, but… he’s doing really well at this business firm, and I’m… still in grad school.”  He sighs.  “I just feel like I’ve gotten myself into a rut, like I’m just accepting a really mediocre future, and I’m not even doing anything  _ now _ that could lessen the boredom I’m no doubt setting up for myself – ”  He stops, sits up, and rubs frustratedly at his eye.  “I shouldn’t be talking to you about this,” he says.  He lets his hand fall, and his eyes go wide as if he’s realized something important.  “Oh, my God, I should  _ not _ be dumping all of this onto you, it’s hardly fair, I’m so  _ sorry _ – ”

“Where’s Minseok?” Sehun asks, trying to ignore the way his mind is ringing with the fact that Joonmyun’s ex is a  _ guy _ .  “Why isn’t he helping you with this?”

“He’s out with Luhan,” Joonmyun says.  “I didn’t want to ruin his day with petty ex issues,” he says with a humorless laugh.

“Who even is this guy?” Sehun asks, his eyes narrowed.  “What’s he doing that’s making you feel so shitty?  Do I have to kick his ass?”

“Oh, my God, no,  _ no _ .”  Joonmyun holds his hands up to stop Sehun.  “Kyungsoo is the same size as me.”

Sehun settles into the couch, still peeved.  “Yeah, well, ‘Kyungsoo’ sounds like a dick name,” he mutters.

Joonmyun laughs weakly.  “He really isn’t a dick,” he says.  “He just… doesn’t deal well with emotions, I guess.  When we were still together, he always got mad at me because he thought I was always trying to psychoanalyze him.  He’s very private, so I don’t think he ever really liked the idea of dating a psychologist.” 

“What the fuck,” Sehun says.  “Why’d you waste your time on him?”

“He was really nice,” Joonmyun says, but even he doesn’t sound convinced as Sehun raises a dubious brow.  “We met freshman year and dated until we were seniors.  He wasn’t  _ awful _ .  We both agreed to break up.”

“You sound like some sort of apologist.”

“I don’t regret dating him,” Joonmyun says.  “That isn’t not why I panicked and asked you to come.”

His eyes meet Sehun’s, and it takes Sehun a few seconds to get his incoherent thoughts together.  “Why… why  _ did _ you, then?”

Joonmyun looks down at his lap, clasping and unclasping his hands.  “He – well, he mentioned… a new partner, and he said things were going really well, and, well…”  He’s twisting his hands together now.  “I haven’t… dated… since Kyungsoo and I broke up, and it just… made me feel really insecure?”  He peeks up at Sehun, but he quickly looks away, embarrassed.  “I don’t know, I just sort of spiraled into this really self-defeating way of thinking, and the first person I thought of to talk about it besides Minseok was you, and, I mean, I’m glad you came, but I feel like I’ve been so selfish at the same time, and you’re one of my  _ students _ -”

“Hey.”  Joonmyun’s eyes are wide and worried when he finally glances over at Sehun.  “You’re fine, alright?”

“Am I?”

Sehun has to resist the urge to take his hand.  “Yeah.”

Joonmyun nods, even though he doesn’t look quite like he’s been convinced.  “Let’s… let’s do my hair, then.”

“Are you sure?”  Sehun stays seated as Joonmyun stands up. 

“I think so,” he says, nervously rubbing his legs.  “I think I need to do something drastic.”

“You can’t just wash it out if you hate it, though.”

Joonmyun picks up the bag with the kit and hands it to Sehun.  “I’m saying fuck it,” he says.  “Who cares.”

“Alright,” Sehun says, still started by the sound of a cuss word coming out of Joonmyun’s mouth.  “Fuck it.”

Joonmyun looks breathless, exhilarated, his eyes shining, and it’s beautiful.  “Fuck it.”

**

Sehun has Joonmyun change into clothing he doesn’t mind getting stained, and he’s way too adorable when he comes out of his room in a baggy shirt and sweatpants. 

“You’re  _ positive _ you want to do this,” Sehun says as they walk together to the bathroom.  “This is your last chance to bail.”

“I don’t want to bail,” Joonmyun says, shaking his head.  “I’m being spontaneous.  This is therapeutic.”

Sehun makes him sit on the toilet seat lid in the bathroom, and he can feel his eyes on his back like a heavy weight as he dons the gloves provided by the kit and starts mixing the bleach over the sink. 

“You did this before, right?” he asks. His voice is small and nervous.

“Yeah,” Sehun says.  “Just before freshman year.  My friend Jongin helped me.”

“Why did you do it?”

Sehun pauses his stirring to look at Joonmyun over his shoulder.  “Same reason as you.”

They’re quiet as Sehun concentrates on applying the bleach.  Joonmyun spends the entire time chewing on his bottom lip, and Sehun tries really hard not to let it distract him as he does his best to prevent anything from getting on Joonmyun’s delicate-looking skin.  It’s hard not to admire Joonmyun’s appearance when he’s this close to him, though – the soft slant of his eyes, the gentle swell of his cheeks, the delicate curve of his nose, the heart-shaped pout of his lips.  He’s beautiful, Sehun thinks, and as his fingers slide across Joonmyun’s scalp, Sehun is struck by how intimate this feels with his hands in Joonmyun’s hair like this, with the way he can feel Joonmyun’s nervous energy rolling off of him in waves.  He’s close enough to feel his body heat, and he can’t help but notice the way Joonmyun seems to lean into Sehun’s gentle touch, as if he trusts him with more than just the fate of his hair.

It’s tedious work; Joonmyun fidgets uncomfortably under Sehun’s hands, and even though he does his best to stay still, by the time Sehun’s finished, his leg is bouncing in agitation.

“Now we wait,” Sehun announces, taking a step back to admire his handiwork.

Joonmyun looks up at him, his forehead crinkled with worry.  “Is my scalp supposed to tingle this much?”

“Yeah,” Sehun says ruefully.  “Let me know if it starts actually burning, though, because that’s really bad.”

“How long does it sit?”

Sehun consults the box.  “45 to 60 minutes.”

Joonmyun’s eyebrows nearly meet his wet hairline in surprise.

They watch TV while they wait. Or, more accurately, Joonmyun puts a DVD into the player and some anime with giant fighting machines and weird space orbs starts up.

“Is this okay?” Joonmyun asks. He hovers next to the DVD player, as if ready for Sehun to demand they watch something else.

“What… is it?”

“ _ Neon Genesis Evangelion _ . It’s anime.”

Sehun presses his lips together as he considers the colorful opening. It looks vaguely like something he could have seen once or twice playing in the house. “Let’s watch it,” he says. “It’s your place, anyway.”

“But you’re my guest.”

Sehun pats the space on the couch next to him. “Come on.”

Joonmyun acquiesces, and they end up with Sehun’s feet resting comfortably in Joonmyun’s lap.  The tension that had been between them earlier is gone now, and Sehun is quietly grateful as Joonmyun absentmindedly fiddles with the edges of his socks.  It’s nice like this, he thinks, and his heart falters a little when he wonders if this might happen more often in the future. 

**

Washing the bleach out is a messier process than applying it, but Sehun manages well enough in the kitchen sink.  When Joonmyun stands up after the last round of conditioning, his hair is so yellow that it’s almost glowing.  Sehun absentmindedly runs a hand through it as soon as Joonmyun stops scrubbing it with a towel, pushing it around as he considers it.

“How does it look?” Joonmyun asks, his eyes wide when Sehun glances down at him.

“We’ll have to see when it dries,” he says.  “Do you have a hair dryer?”

He doesn’t, so they watch more of Joonmyun’s anime, and a few minutes later, Joonmyun’s head is surrounded by a halo of light-colored hair.  Sehun sits up from where he’d been lounging and runs an experimental hand through it one more time.  It’s still a little damp, but it’s incredibly soft for what it’s just been through, floating around Joonmyun’s head.  “Wow,” he says, unable to stop a smile from stretching his lips in wonder.  “You look like one of those K-Pop idols.”

Joonmyun’s mouth falls open as a blush steals across his face.  “Really?”

“Yeah.”  Sehun pulls him closer by the back of the head, leaning in to bump his nose against the soft skin of Joonmyun’s cheek before kissing him. He surges forward, the heat from Joonmyun’s face making Sehun feel as if he’s blushing, too, as he kisses him again, and again, and again.  Joonmyun’s lips are soft and pliant, welcoming Sehun as he tugs gently on his bottom lip, his hand leaving a trail of goosebumps as it goes to cradle the back of his neck. Sehun’s hand goes to his waist, pulling him closer as a sweet sigh verging on a breathy moan escapes Joonmyun and fills Sehun like air filling a balloon.  Something hot and liquid curls around Sehun’s stomach as their breathing mingles, as their tongues brush against one another in a way that sends a shiver down Sehun’s whole body.  All he can think of is Joonmyun’s warm mouth, the push-and-pull of their lips as they meld together and come apart, as Joonmyun makes another small noise when Sehun leans into him even further, his hand reverently caressing Joonmyun’s neck.

Then Joonmyun’s pulling away, shaking his head, and Sehun follows him, his mouth ending up on his cheek as Joonmyun turns his face.  “No,” he breathes, feebly pushing against Sehun.  “Stop.”

Sehun freezes, his heart pounding in fear as Joonmyun’s fingers curl against his chest.  “Please,” Joonmyun says, his voice small and fragile with something Sehun can’t quite identify.  Sehun feels strangely numb, his lips swollen and heavy, and he wonders if Joonmyun can feel how fast his heart is beating as he hesitantly peeks up at Sehun from under his eyelashes.

Sehun swallows, unable to look away from Joonmyun’s huge eyes.  “S-sorry,” he manages.

Joonmyun looks away and shifts underneath him with a sigh.  “It’s… it’s okay,” he says, “but I think… I think you should go.” 

Sehun sits up, confused and, he hates to admit it, slightly offended.  “You want me to leave?”

Joonmyun looks like he’s on the verge of tears, and it’s taking every ounce of Sehun’s self-control not to envelope him in a hug and bury his face in the crook of his neck and shoulder.  “I just… need to think about some things?” he says, cringing at his words.  “I wasn’t expecting… that, and…”  He pinches the bridge of his nose as he tries to think.  He lets go and runs his hand through his hair.  “I can’t think straight right now, and I don’t want to do something I’ll regret later.”  His eyes land on Sehun, but they’re too guarded for Sehun to make out whatever he’s feeling.

Sehun tries to swallow the lead weight clogging his throat, but it’s stuck and he feels like he can’t breathe.  “R-regret?” he chokes out.

Joonmyun’s eyes go wide his hands flutter uselessly in Sehun’s direction.  “I – It’s nothing you did!  It’s not y–”  He squeezes his eyes shut and balls his hands into fists in his lap.  “Shit.   _ Shit _ .”  He opens his eyes.  “I almost said ‘It’s not you, it’s me,’ I’m  _ so  _ sorry – ”

Sehun pretends the words don’t sting as he nods his head.  “It’s fine,” he says.  “I’ll…  I’ll just go, then.” 

Joonmyun starts to speak as Sehun gets up, but his voice dies as Sehun quietly gathers his things and puts on his shoes.  Sehun tries not to look at Joonmyun, but when he gets to the door, he turns around and finds Joonmyun still watching him.  “Just so you know,” he says, his hand clutching the doorknob for dear life as his heart jumps into his throat and a hot sweat breaks out under his arms.  “I – I meant it.”

He shoots out the door as soon as soon as it’s out of his mouth and before he can see Joonmyun’s reaction.  He pauses on the  _ Welcome  _ mat, willing his roiling insides to calm down as he tries not to think about what Joonmyun might look like on the other side.  He moves robotically down the hall, and each reluctant step becomes heavier and heavier as the distance between himself and the door grows.

When he reaches his car, he feels faintly queasy.  He finally checks his phone when he’s sitting behind the wheel, and if his stomach hadn’t already felt like it had sunken to the bottom of his gut, the slew of messages from Baekhyun and Tao makes it all but fall down to the bottom of his seat.  He sees snippets like _WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU_ , and _Youre such a fucking asshole_ , and then he sees Baekhyun’s very mild threat: _I’m going to shove all of Alpha Zeta’s dildos up your_ _ass if you don’t text me in the next five minutes_. 

That was  two hours ago.

_ Maybe I should go back…  _ He shakes his head, even as his body vibrates with the urge to get out of his car and run back to Joonmyun’s door.  He needs to give him space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I started grad school a month ago and it's slowly eating up all of my spare time!!
> 
> At least Sehun's moving things along, right? :^)))


End file.
